


Still Standing Still

by alex4968



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Louis, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Car Accident, M/M, Omega Harry, but a character's death is talked about, not major character death, some slightly graphic injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 17:01:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 44,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14919329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex4968/pseuds/alex4968
Summary: Louis has long since been following the same schedule, the same program, the same everything. He works hard towards his goals and gives everything to those that mean the most to him. Harry was never a part of the plan, but Louis finds he loves unplanned changes.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boadiceas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boadiceas/gifts).



> Hello! This fic has been absolutely awesome to write, and I got pretty carried away with it, but I'm really happy with it.   
> A massive thank you to the few people who read over this fic before it got published to help me work out the many kinks that were in the first draft. You're all great and thank you so much for helping me out :) And also thank you to the person who this is written for. I had a hard time choosing which prompt of yours to write (because they were all wonderful), and definitely didn't follow it to a tee, but I really hope you still enjoy it! 
> 
> I will mention that Jay's death is talked about a bit in this fic, as it's a major point of angst in Louis' life. Her death happened before the timeline of the fic but it is mentioned, so be careful if that's something that you don't like to read.

 

MARCH, 1967

 

Spring has long since been Louis’ favorite season. 

The soft hues of the flowers that decorate the trees along the roads, the creeping vines of the plants that climb along the red bricks throughout the city, the gentle orange sunsets that paint the sky into brilliance each night. There’s never quite been anything Louis can compare it to. 

The front windows of the car are open, letting a soft, warm breeze flow through the air around the two of them. They’re parked in a lot just across from the hospital where they’d dropped a patient off an hour before, and the radio has been silent since. 

Niall sits beside him and the music on the radio cuts off to some political ad, something about a party that’s against omega rights, and Louis shuts it off with a press of his finger. Two fast food bags sit between the two of them, fresh grease forming spots on the edges from the fries as Louis stabs a straw through the hole in the top of his cup. It smells a bit like a mixture of the grease from the food and iodoform in the front of the car, but it’s a familiar smell that has started to bring comfort. He’s grown used to it all, learned to be comforted by the familiarity of his daily routine. There’s something that he really enjoys about the daily familiarity of his life, about being able to come here during the days with Niall and spend their days saving lives.

“Alright, fine. A fiver says you can't,” he says, snorting a laugh as Niall holds a sandwich in front of his face. It’s nearly a third of the size of his head, and that only makes him laugh harder. Niall likes to eat just as much as anyone else, but nothing ever seems to stick on him. So, throughout their time working together they’ve started making ridiculous bets of what Niall can and can’t eat between calls. It usually ends with both of them red in the face with laughter and it serves to make every day even more entertaining. He’s always played it off as an alpha thing, being able to pack away more than enough food than he needs and still stay slim. Louis’ never been jealous, but rather just entertained at watching everything happen. 

“Sounds like a challenge,” Niall returns and just as he’s about to take the bet - the attempt to shove the entire thing in his mouth all at once - the radio crackles to life. A woman’s voice fills the cab of the car, just barely clear enough to make out, telling them that they’re needed yet again. 

“Units needed at 10th and Broadway. 10th and Broadway,” The voice says, the radio breaking up between crackles and static. 

“We're nearby, dispatch. Unit 450 en route,” Louis says as he brings the receiver closer to his mouth, speaking slow and clearly. He has the engine on barely a second after he says it, and less than a moment later, bet and lunch forgotten, they’re speeding off towards the scene. The scream of the sirens above him never seem to fade out in the way that everyone said they would, just in the same way that they never fail to make his heart pound, racing and thumping loud enough in his chest that he can feel it in his ears. He can feel the thrum of his heart beating all the way to the tips of his fingers as the adrenaline of trying to beat the clock courses through him. 

He knows they’re on a time crunch, they always are, and every second could cost this person their life. It’s the kind of responsibility Louis both loves and hates having at the same time. Saving a person’s life is a feeling he couldn’t even begin to describe, but the reality of pulling up on scene and losing the person is just as real, and it only becomes more real as the seconds tick on.

Cars pull to the side of the motorway as they speed along the road, but it’s still four minutes before they reach the scene.

His heart keeps pounding stronger in his chest as they pass through three intersections that will take them to the scene; the knowledge that each moment they  aren’t at the scene could be life or death for those that need them driving him to try harder, to go faster, to do better. Always fighting and trying his best to improve. Niall, while in the passenger's seat, gathers the equipment for when they arrive, getting ready and preparing himself for what’s to come.

But it’s always the same, once they arrived.

There’s really only one word to describe it, just the same way it always is:  _ Brutal _ .

Perhaps these scenes are the worst, he realizes, just like always, as they pull to a stop. The times when it’s so clear that it could have been prevented had someone just paid more attention, pulled over and gone to sleep a few miles before, or just not taken their eyes from the road. Going sixty on the motorway is more than fast enough to kill someone with just a second of being distracted - and he sees the results of that reality day in and day out. It’s a reality that never quite leaves him behind after seeing these same scenes played out in front of him day after day.

But it’s clear exactly what had happened here, just from the carnage piled up on the side of the road where they’ve pulled up. He takes it all in as the two of them are getting out of the car as fast as they can, running to gather their equipment. 

A car in the right lane had swerved into the left, and the driver in the left lane seemed to not have caught it in time to avoid the collision completely. The second car was clipped, just on the side and sent off the side of the road, flipping in the process. Police surround the car that swerved and motion them over to the other.

So, the driver at fault hadn’t survived, then. It’s always clear when they aren’t needed that that’s the only outcome. 

As he and Niall grab a gurney and run to the flipped car, the scene painted out in front of them only seems to get worse. There are no skid marks on the road where the second car had been thrown off, only showing that he hadn’t even seen the impact coming, hadn’t had enough time to try and stop it from happening. He’s not sure if that makes it better or worse - or maybe it doesn’t change anything at all. Maybe it’s best to not feel the moment that the control leaves all at once with the inability to change it. 

Two firemen had peeled the metal of the door away from the car, and as they run up and lift the man out, brace around his neck, Louis’ heart feels heavy, hurt for him. His eyes are half closed, bottom lip bloody from a cut going through the soft skin.

It takes Louis a moment to realize why he’s tense, why his muscles feel a little less easy to move than usual as he and Niall are climbing the hill. 

He’s an omega.

The scent hits him harder than any other scent has, almost to the point he wants to stop, take a break and scent him. It’s such an inappropriate thought, but he can’t help it. It’s a sweet mixture of pine and honey, something he never thought he would find so pleasing, but as he moves, it’s filling his senses to the brim. 

The overload of it all kicks his instincts into overdrive, making his nerves stand on end, his fingers tingling slightly with the bloodrush of it all. 

It’s never happened before - not like this. He’s never felt so compelled to take care of someone outside of the normal passion he’s felt every day since he was young. There’s something different about this - and he knows he can’t let it affect him, but it's harder than he needs it to be. 

Traces of glitter stick to random parts of the man’s body that are only brought out further by the now dark purple marks all over his pale skin. There’s a large, purple bruise on the right side of his face, decorating his cheekbone where it must have hit right against the steering wheel. Louis and Niall get him up the hill quickly, with his head near Louis on the gurney, strapped in tightly before they’re moving once again. 

There’s an edge to this job that he didn’t understand entirely before he was right in the thick of it - how the clock is always competing against them and there’s always that possibility that what goes wrong could be their fault - could be caused by them. Every movement has to be calculated, precise in a way Louis’ rarely been in his life. It’s come with the practice, and the edge of instinct that lines his actions now only makes him more careful, more precise. 

“What's your name?” Louis asks the omega as they carry him up the hill of the ditch he'd been flipped into, working not to jostle him as they coordinate their steps silently. It’s not too steep - but the angle was more than enough to send the car spiraling, clear by the deep grooves cut into the dirt below their feet. A deep gash shows clear on the omega’s leg and Louis only realizes it when he sees the deep red staining the dark purple fabric of the suit he's in.

“Harry,” he says, voice weak and faint, but only because of its trembling. They get the man into the back of the ambulance as fast as they can before Louis climbs into the back with him, letting Niall go up to the front to drive. Immediately, he cuts the fabric of Harry’s right pant leg all the way up to his knee and pulls it away, revealing the extent of the injury. Not often does he wince anymore at seeing the worst that life has to offer, but he can’t help it this time. His stomach twists, but he keeps himself from grimacing, keeps himself from showing the emotions on his face. 

It’s crushed, almost completely. The bone sticking out just below his kneecap and a clear, clean mark from where something metal had sliced through skin, through tendon all the way down to the bone beneath. It makes his stomach churn yet again as he wraps it up as best as he can. The gloves on his hands are nearly covered in blood before the wound is wrapped, the white of the cloth only concealing the horror beneath it. 

“Okay, Harry. We're gonna get you to the hospital. Everything is gonna be just fine.” The man closes his eyes after that, a slow exhale following, and Louis is getting a mask over Harry’s face. Oxygen flows steadily and Louis wraps a cuff around his arm, squeezing the bulb on the other end to get his blood pressure, checking off little boxes in his mental list as the seconds tick on. “I'm sure you're exhausted but we need you to stay up. You took quite the hit to your head.” He can see the slight lilt in Harry’s eyes, showing that he's just barely staying awake, but he knows that if he falls asleep, the outcome will only be worse. 

Once the needle on the dial stabilizes, he writes down the number on the notepad beside him, then does a final inspection to see if there are any other obvious injuries. There aren’t - other than the leg - he doesn’t seem to have any other broken bones, and nothing seems immediately life threatening other than the loss of blood.

The brace holds his head perfectly straight, making it so he’s unable to move his head, just in case his neck is broken. So far, that’s the only thing Louis is grateful for about this accident. He’s always noticed that when someone can see their own injuries that it seems to make them panic - so with Harry’s head held upwards, he can’t see, and he can’t panic. There’s still an air of fear surrounding them, Harry’s scent giving it off strongly, but Louis has learned to ignore that. Learned to keep himself focused enough that there’s little that can distract him from the task at hand. 

“What's your name?” Harry asks, returning the question he'd been asked earlier. It seems his breathing is fine, just because he can talk, so Louis doesn't worry about chatting causing any harm. The omega’s eyes are still only half open, but the green of them is bright, lined with tears that didn’t get the chance to shed. 

“I'm Louis.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Harry says, an attempted smile on his face only morphed into a twist of pain a moment later. Before then, it almost hadn’t been entirely obvious from his expressions that Harry was in pain - just from the way he was able to conceal it so easily. He tries to lift his head, probably trying to look at the source of the pain, and Louis presses a light touch on his shoulders to keep him down. “Shame it's under these circumstances,” He says when he’s forced to lie back, eyes moving to look towards Louis. His breathing is faster than normal and there’s clear tension spread throughout his entire body now, probably from attempting to keep his mind off of the pain. 

“I'm sure there are worse ways to meet someone.” This makes Harry smile ever so slightly, but his eyes slowly start to fall shut. The adrenaline must have worn off, now, letting him take in all the pain and reality of what’s going on. Louis tries his best to distract him. “Tell me about you. You're all dressed up. What do you do for a living?”

“I teach English to third years.”

“Ah, building the youth’s creative minds. I like it,” he says, laughing a bit. He glances down to Harry’s leg and notices the way the red seeps through the bandages already, only increasing the worry in his chest. “Don't go closing your eyes now, alright? I'm going to double the wrap on your leg and we should be at the hospital in just a moment.” The roar of the sirens above them is less audible in the back of the ambulance, but it's still clear. Niall is driving them much faster than he usually would, and he knows it's just because of the state Harry is in. He only hopes Harry isn't taking any notice of the speed.

“Louis?” His voice sounds different all of a sudden, as if the fear of the situation hit him all at once and very suddenly. The omega’s eyes open just a bit more, and his breathing gets a little more frantic than it had been just a few minutes previous. 

“Yes?”

“Is it bad?”

“It could be much worse, Harry. You're not going to die.” This seems to relax him, just enough for his muscles to relax. “This is a nice suit. Do you wear colorful suits regularly?” Louis says, his attempt at changing the subject.

“Every day. I always thought it was a bit unfair that the ladies can wear pretty dresses and I was just going to wear black pants and a shirt.” There's a little smile on Harry's face, then, as they come to a stop. The engine shuts off, and Louis immediately unlocks the wheels of the gurney. “Everything’s gonna be alright, okay? We’re here.” He tosses the doors open as they stop and Niall runs around and helps him get Harry out; from there it all seems to blur together.

Barely a moment later, he’s following the doctors down the corridor as Harry gets wheeled away. He reads off the vital signs and mentions having to double bandage his leg, and that’s all he’s really able to give.

Then Harry’s gone, wheeled behind a set of doors he doesn’t have access to go behind, and he’s standing in the hall, only able to watch him go. 

 

+

 

The chaos in the Tomlinson Household starts at six in the morning, every morning, on the dot. “Lottie it’s my turn!  _ Get out _ !” Félicité screams, making Louis look up from his book that’s laid out in front of him. His cup of coffee has nearly gone cold now, and he highlights the name of a medication in yet another diagram before copying it over into his notes. Then, he closes the notebook. There’s never been much sense trying to finish anything up when the rest of the family wakes up, because the quiet he needs to focus goes away as soon as it happens. 

He’s already dressed and ready for the day, aside from brushing his teeth one more time to rid of the coffee taste, but he’s in no rush. The same black pants and crisp white shirt he wears to work every day are ironed and clean, buttoned all the way up except the top button, and he’s ready to go as soon as the rest of his family is. His mornings start every day at four am, long before the sun rises, just so he has enough time to get a little work in. 

It’s become his routine, something that is no longer odd to him and just another part of his days. He stacks the books up into a neat pile in the center of the table, leaving enough room for two more people to sit down with him if they wanted to. 

His watch says five past six when Lottie comes walking down the stairs, her hair still wet from her shower. “Morning, Lou,” She says with a smile before going to the pot of coffee with just enough left inside for the two cups she always makes herself. She’s an omega, the only omega so far out of their family besides their mum, but it really hadn’t come as much of a surprise when she presented at sixteen. Just in the way she’s always behaved has given way to her personality and even more so to her gender. 

“Morning,” He says as she slides into the seat beside him, taking a sip of the warm coffee in her cup. She’s got her hair tied up into a bun and there are dark circles under her eyes. Sometimes he can’t help but feel overworked, like there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it all, but he knows Lottie is the only reason he’s even still on two feet. She’s helped him more than he ever could have expected her to, and there’s no way he could ever thank her enough. 

“How’s all that?” She asks, motioning to the mountain of textbooks in front of him, stacked in a neat pile that takes up nearly a quarter of their dining room table. 

“A lot, as usual. Glad it’s almost over, though.” She just smiles in response before rubbing the remains of sleep from her eyes as she takes another sip of her coffee. 

Lottie wakes up in the morning to help him get the kids off to school, then goes back to sleep for a few hours, only to take care of the kids while Louis is at work and school himself. Her alpha comes around most days when he’s not working and helps her - which Louis is more than grateful for - but the two of them somehow make everything work. 

“I don’t think I’ll be home until real late tonight,” Louis says with a sigh as he looks at the clock. The girls have ten minutes to be downstairs before he’ll start worrying about them being on time. “Someone on night shift called in sick, then I’ve got that exam tonight.” 

“Alright,” Lottie says with a soft smile, “Let me make you a little extra for your lunch then, so you can have some supper as well.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Lots. You’ve done enough.”

“It’s no problem, you know that.” She stands up, carrying her cup with her as she starts going through the fridge and throwing things together. 

As she’s doing that, the girls slowly start making their way down the stairs. 

“Morning!” Félicité says, her hair still wet, too. Daisy and Phoebe follow shortly behind her. Everyone’s dressed and ready as they all seem to hurry to the kitchen to grab something to eat before school. Sometimes, Louis wishes they were still the type of family that sat down together every morning to eat breakfast, but they all had to live with the changes that came after their mum died. 

They make do with what they can, and what they can’t, they’ve just had to accept and move on. 

“Morning,” Both he and Lottie echo in response. 

“Get something to eat quickly, girls, we’ve got to be out the door in a few,” He gets a few noises in response and it’s enough for him as he heads to the loo downstairs to brush his teeth. 

He’s quick, but once he’s back out the door, the girls are all ready to go for the day. It’s been a process, adjusting to doing this every day and getting the details down in a way that works for everyone, but he’s long since gotten used to it. 

Their house is a small manor, inherited throughout the generations from the first of the Tomlinsons down to the last, but he’s learned over the years that every inch they’ve been given in the house could still never be enough space to fit the chaos that fills their lives.  The gardens aren’t kept up anymore - haven’t been since long before his mum died - but the paved little circle of road that makes up their driveway still stands out against the overgrown grass and rose bushes that cling on for life. 

The lot of them get into the car, and once he’s got it on and ready, they’re off. 

The drive is accompanied by an 8 track that Félicité had picked out and brought with her for the ride. It’s some band Louis doesn’t recognize, but he knows that Félicité’s friends always show her new music that she gets obsessed with for short periods of time before she moves on to something else. It’s nice - just to be able to listen to the music in the otherwise quiet. The morning rides have always been at least somewhat peaceful, since they’re all mostly too tired to do much else than just sit there and wait to start their days. 

Félicité gets out first, as soon as he pulls up to the parking lot of her school. She runs up to her group of friends that are waiting outside for her just as Louis pulls away. The drive from the college to the primary school is only about five minutes, and it’s always been convenient that it’s the right direction to get him to work. 

Instead of just letting the girls out, he parks and opens the back door for the younger girls, letting them through the child lock. Daisy runs off on her own almost immediately, after yelling she loves him in his general direction. She’s always been the more extroverted of the two twins - had adapted easier to the loss than Phoebe did. 

He walks Phoebe inside, smiling at the few teachers in the hall that recognize him from doing it for the entire year. “See you tonight, love. Have a good day!” He calls as Phoebe runs off into the classroom she spends her day in, and then he’s off, back down the corridor to start the rest of his day. 

As he gets back into the drivers side of his car and pulls out of his space, he can’t help but almost feel like his life is too formulaic, but at the same time like something is missing all the same. He does the same thing, day in and day out, but he doesn’t feel like it’s enough. He sighs softly as he turns left a few blocks from the school, then slides into a spot parallel to the street. 

He knows that in just a few short months everything will be different and he can move on from the mundane repetitions of doing the same things, but it still feels so far away. He gets out of the car once again, then makes his way across the street and into the little shop. 

 

“Morning, Lou,” Zayn says, voice lacking enthusiasm just like every other morning, as Louis pulls the door to the coffee shop open. Zayn’s wearing his usual dark blue apron that matches the logo of the little shop, adorned only by the name tag on the collar of his shirt. He’s got a couple books stacked up near the cash register himself, and Louis knows he’s working on his masters in psych, so they’ve always had a conversation point for when Louis is waiting for his coffee. 

“Morning, Zayn. How’s it going?” 

“Good, yeah. Beginning of the semester is done now you know, so stuff’s starting to hit hard.” The small talk they manage to exchange each day has made Louis feel just a little more than comfortable around Zayn, and getting to know little parts of their lives, sharing tid bits each day, has almost made him consider the man as some kind of friend. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” He says with a chuckle. “How’s that one professor, the one you said was giving you hell?” Zayn’s already making his usual as Louis pulls out three pounds from his wallet, just like every other morning. The routine he’s managed to build is comfortable, and it’s just enough to let him feel just a little at ease, even when there’s not a whole lot to feel at ease about. 

“Better, now, yeah. Think it was a bit of a communication error, if I’m honest. But it’s good now. How’s all your studying going? Starting rotations soon, yeah?”

“Oh, don’t have to remind me. I’m so excited to get inside a hospital I can’t even explain.” 

As soon as his milk is steamed and his cup is in his hand, Zayn picks up the three pounds from the counter and slips the one as his tip into his pocket and the other two into the register. “See you tomorrow,” He says as he turns and walks out. 

“See you tomorrow,” Zayn says with a wave. 

Same as always. 

 

It’s ten in the morning when Louis climbs back up into the cab of the ambulance he’s called a job for the last three years. The engine sputters to life with a kick as it always does, and Louis can tell that it’s coming close to needing to be put into retirement. It makes some of the same noises that his own car does, and it worries him, but not enough to keep it on the front of his mind. Niall climbs into the passenger side less than a minute later, and sends him a smile. 

He has another white paper bag, and once the door is closed behind him, Niall is pulling out a large donut topped with bright pink frosting and handing it over to him. 

“How do you expect me to keep my beautiful youthful figure when you feed me like this every morning, Horan?” Louis says as he takes the pastry, holding it over the napkin. 

“What can I say, the bakery had that promotion with the buy one get one thing”, the other alpha says with a shrug, taking a bite of his own. Louis has always been at least somewhat of a stress eater, and the exam he knows he has later in the day is weighing heavy on his mind as he eats his poor excuse for a breakfast. 

“Well, thank you,” He says with a smile, sighing softly. 

“What’s on your mind, Lou? You seem a little off.” 

“Nothing, really. Just. You ever get a little too hung up on something that’s really not as big of a deal as your mind is making it out to be?”

“Pretty sure that’s just an alpha thing, innit? Overthinking things.”

“I mean, yeah. That’s definitely all this is. It’s not a big deal.” 

“Then there’s no issue talking about it, now is there?” Niall is smiling at him, an eyebrow quirked. He’s got a little pink frosting on the corner of his mouth and it only makes Louis a little more fond of his friend. Each day he’s a little more grateful that Niall had been the person he’d climbed in beside three years ago when he started this job. 

“Yeah, I guess,” He says with a sigh, “It’s just - That omega from yesterday is still stuck on my mind,” Louis says, sighing as he leans back against the seat behind him. The mornings usually start off slow, so he takes another sip of his coffee as Niall listens to him rant. 

He gets a textbook from his bag and opens it on his lap as he talks, then digs further into his bag and gets notes spread around all over him as they sit and wait for a call to come in. It’s the same thing every single day, sitting and waiting to go to the aid of someone who managed to find themselves in a disaster they didn’t ask for. Niall looks at him for a moment, a strange look on his face. “It’s like - I deal with a dozen omegas a week, and never has one just… stood out like this to me before? I don’t - I really don’t understand why but I just keep thinking about him.” He can’t help but say it – but he knows it’s true. During his three years in this wild career, he’d probably seen and helped hundreds of omegas, yet not a single one of them had struck him quite in the way that Harry had.

He knows it’s a biology thing – that sometimes alphas can get just a little too protective over hurt omegas when they don’t need to – but it feels odd.

“So, go see him,” Niall says, shrugging, as if that’s the easiest thing in the world.

“I can’t go do that. That would be weird, wouldn’t it? I would have no reason to be there while he’s healing from something like that.”

“Then just do your best to get him off your mind, Tommo. You don’t have any other options.” Sometimes he can’t help but hate that Niall is so reasonable. He always seems to know the right answer, even if it’s not particularly the truth that Louis wants to hear in that moment.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He shrugs. The radio is still silent. He goes back to his studying.

+

In a whirlwind, the end of the school year hits him harder than he’d ever thought it would. 

The months seemed to whiz by faster than they ever had in his entire life. With all of the exams and insanity done and over with, he almost doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with himself. The summer had blown by with too many trips to the pub down the road for celebration of being  _ done  _ \- along with a mixture of trips with the girls, too much sleep, and nights on the town with Niall at his side.  

Harry stayed on his mind far too much than Louis thought appropriate, and yet, as the months went on, he just learned to deal with it. It became something just a little more normal, just like anything else. To think about Harry, to wonder how he’s been doing. 

But it’s been an entire three months without school, without anything to keep him busy enough to keep him from thinking about the things he doesn’t want to think about, and it’s almost overwhelming. 

As he sits on the couch in his living room, sipping his tea. He feels like there’s something he should be doing – studying or reviewing or  _ something –  _ but for nearly the first time in four years, there’s nothing. Not a single thing that’s related to school that he needs to be doing.

Well, other than the fact that he’s meant to be out the door with his three younger sisters in less than four minutes and not a single one of them are downstairs yet. Félicité is starting her first year of college this year - and the younger girls are still in primary school - but as they’ve gotten older and all gotten more used to the routine of the mornings, they’ve gotten more lax with being on time. Sometimes one of the girls will still be in the shower when it’s ten minutes until they have to be out the door, and it stresses Louis out to no end, but it only makes Lottie laugh. 

He knows he used to give their mum hell like this in the morning, but it certainly doesn’t mean he wants to be given hell, too. Karma, he thinks. 

“Girls! You’re going to be late!” He shouts from the bottom of the stairs as he takes the three lunch boxes sitting on the kitchen table into his hand and checks his watch. He hasn’t quite been able to shake his routine of waking up at four in the morning, so he’s been awake and sitting at the table for nearly two hours, so he’s fully awake. “We can’t be late for your first days back! Good impressions and all that.” Three girls run down the stairs all at once, then, nearly tackling each other as they run. They’re all in their uniforms, pressed and prim just as their mum used to like it.

“It’s her fault,” Phoebe says, pointing at Félicité.

“You can tell me about it in the car. We have twenty minutes to be there now.” There’s always chaos in the Tomlinson household, but that’s just a given at this point. He’s grown used to it - fond of it, even - and he wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s something he can’t help but find comforting about having people that are just like him surrounding him each day. “See you tonight, Lotts” He kisses his sister’s cheek before heading out the door with the three girls. Tom is sat with her at the table since he’d stayed over the night before, and he waves him an easy goodbye, too, before everyone is out the door. 

They all get in the car, strap themselves in, and they’re headed down the road. Félicité gets dropped off first, as per usual, and she darts out of the car with a simple, “Love you, Lou!”

The twins are in the back, completely identical other than their mismatched headbands that Louis has forced them to wear every day. He knows that the two of them like to look the same on the first days of school for no reason other than to mess with the people around them and it’s always been funny to him, except he always has to be on the receiving end of angry teachers that don’t seem to have the same sense of humor that the three of them do. It may or may not have been an idea that he put in their heads when they were much younger, but even now, it’s still funny.

He pulls into the same parking spot he’s claimed as his own in the mornings for the last two years, shuts the car off, and grabs the girls’ school bags from the boot. 

“Bye Louis, see you later!” Daisy shouts before she’s running inside and out of sight of Phoebe and himself. The two of them stand in the parking lot and he can see how the younger girl plays with her fingers in a way that shows exactly how nervous she really is. She gets like this on the first day of school every year, but he can see that it’s especially bad this morning. 

“Will you walk in with me?” Phoebe asks, a shy little pout on her face. He’s always been used to this – mostly because the school has purposely separated her from Daisy. Had they just allowed the twins to be in the same classes he knows that they both would have much less anxiety about all of it, but it’s never been his choice.

“Of course, love,” He says as he holds her hand and walks into the building. It’s large with a long main corridor that Louis remembers being in when he was young. The walls are bare - ready to be decorated by the students throughout the year as tradition always has done - and it’s always the first days of school makes him the most nostalgic . He knows there are even several of his own teachers that had been here during his time that still teach, and it almost feels odd.

Phoebe pulls him down the hall until they’re nearly at the end, and opens the door to the classroom. The first thing he notices is the wall of plants that lines the window on the far side of the room, followed only by the massive collection of student artwork.

The classroom is small, but it looks like it’s seem much more love than most of the other classrooms Louis has ever been in.

“Hello!” A very familiar voice says, turning from where he was writing on the chalkboard with various colors of chalk. The powder is all over his hands before he takes a rag and wipes it all off, reaching a hand out to shake Phoebe’s hand. Louis recognizes him almost immediately, but for some reason he doesn’t let himself say anything. Perhaps it would be weird - he thinks - to still recognize someone he’d only known for less than an hour nearly a year ago. 

“Hi,” Pheobe says, still trying to hide herself behind his leg. He’d noticed that her shyness had gotten much worse after their mum had died, and it only seemed to keep getting worse as the months went on.

“I’m Mr. Styles. What’s your name?” The omega asks, kneeling down to be at Phoebe’s height. 

“Phoebe.”

“Well, Phoebe, it’s lovely to meet you. I promise you don’t have to be nervous. Year three is the absolute best year, just don’t tell the rest of your instructors I said that,” He winks and smiles, the dimples on his cheeks coming out strongly.

Harry finally makes eye contact with Louis then, and the recognition seems to flood through him just as quickly as it had for Louis. “Oh, hello,” he says. “Nice to see you again.” There’s a warm smile on his face that draws Louis in, the same way he’d been drawn in previously. There’s just something about Harry, about the air around him, that feels so welcoming. 

“Hi, yes, you as well. Much better circumstances, these. Yeah.” Louis says, an awkward puff of a laugh following. Harry smiles again. He’s wearing another colourful suit, just as he’d been that day that Louis had found him, but this one is a very pale blue. He doesn’t have any glitter on him, but he imagines that’s only a matter of time when teaching third years.

“Yeah, very much so.” He can’t help but feel pleased that Harry had been able to make such a full recovery. He’d been worried for a long while that what he’d said would be wrong and that the omega actually would have died. It’s more than comforting to see him still up and running. “You must be dad, then?”

“Oh, no. Just the brother.” This makes Harry smile again, but not in the same way that he had before. It almost seems more private, like he wants to contain his own enthusiasm. It makes Louis smile, too. Their little moment is only burst when a few more students all seem to run through the door all at the same time. This breaks Harry out of whatever he’d been thinking right at the same time as it grabs Louis’ attention, too.

“Well, Louis, it was lovely to see you again. See you later, maybe?”

“Yeah,” He agrees easily. “Of course, I walk her in every morning so, see you tomorrow!” Harry smiles again, and then Louis’s walking out the hall and down the corridor all over again. Except this time he can’t help but feel happier.

He’d managed to almost completely forget about Harry in the craziness of finishing school and getting everything done that he needed to focus on, but it all comes back to him so suddenly just from a single interaction. The same air of interest had still surrounded Harry in a way that Louis couldn’t help but be drawn to.

He looks forward to the next day.

 


	2. II

Louis wakes up at six twenty four in the morning on a Thursday.

He’s disoriented when he first wakes up - mostly because it’s later than he’s slept in years - but even more so when he realizes that there’s almost no noise from the rest of the house. He jumps out of bed faster than he has in a long time, quickly throwing on a pair of clean trousers and a shirt before speed walking down the hall to Félicité’s room.

She’s not in there, so he moves on to the twin’s room.

Neither of them are in there, either.

He goes downstairs next, only to see everyone already up and ready, sitting at the table and eating bowls of cereal.

“I’m sorry, is this the right house? Are you all really up and ready before six forty?” He gets a few sheepish smiles in return, but they all look pleased.

“We haven’t seen you sleep in like this in a long time, so we wanted to let you stay asleep as long as we could,” Phoebe says. He smiles and wraps the young girl up in a hug from behind where she sits on the stool in the kitchen.

“You lot are all so sweet to me.”

He really does love his family.

 

The routine is exactly the same as he walks into the classroom yet again the next morning beside Phoebe. She’s not nearly as nervous as she was the day before - a mixture of what Louis assumes is first day nerves along with her still struggling with their mum - but he’s always happy to walk her in. Always would be, if that’s what she needed from him.

“Louis, lovely to see you again! Good morning Phoebe.” Harry says as they walk into his classroom. The board is decorated with various little doodles once again, all bright and colorful. It’s looking a bit more settled in each day that he comes in beside his sister, and for the first time all week, he’s the only one that isn’t a third year that’s in the classroom, besides Harry. The past few days there had been parents, older siblings and such.

“Good morning, Mr. Styles,” Phoebe says at the same time Louis says, “Hello, Harry,”. Phoebe wanders off to her desk, but Louis hangs back for a moment.

“How are you today?” Harry asks, smiling. “Sorry we got cut a bit short chatting the other day, by the way. I’ve been meaning to say that. The first day is always a little wild.”

“Yeah, of course, no problem. I’m very well, how about you?”

“I’m great, thanks. So, what brings you in with Phoebe in the mornings?”

“She just likes it. Gets a bit nervous coming inside, but once she’s inside she’s just fine. So I don’t mind it.”

“Sounds like you’re a good brother,” Harry says, another gentle smile passing over his face before he wipes a bit of chalk dust off on a rag.

“Thank you. Well, I’ll let you go, then.”

“See you later, Louis!” Louis smiles on his way out of the classroom. It’s the same odd, tight feeling in his chest when he walks out that it had been that same day a year ago when he first saw Harry. An odd feeling of protectiveness that he can’t entirely explain. Harry doesn’t need protecting - he doesn’t need anyone to take care of him. Yet, everything inside of Louis is telling him that’s exactly what he needs, that there’s nothing else he could do that would make him feel better.

  
  


Every Thursday, Louis invites his friends over for supper. It’s been a tradition he’s upheld as often as he can all throughout school and life and his hectic family. He loves having people over and being able to just have a night with his friends and family - the people who mean the most to him.

Niall knocks on the door first, at exactly half eight, and alongside him he brings his omega, Barbara. They’re an inseparable pair, and throughout the years that Niall had brought her along, Louis has found that she’s a very interesting girl - and he considers her just as much of a friend as Niall.  Louis has long since known that Niall was one of the rare alphas that mated young and stayed happily mated for years after, but it always makes him happy to see the two of them.

Three weeks had gone by since their last supper together as a group, but whenever things managed to come up and get in the way, the lot of them would always reconnect as soon as they were all able to. Zayn knocks on the door next, and comes in just as Louis opens it for him, a smile on his face. Lottie brings out the pot of pasta she’d made up just as Niall and Barbara sit at the table, then Zayn. Louis grabs the tray of drinks they’d made up earlier and brings it out to the table.

“Oh, could I just have water, please?” Barbara asks as Louis sets down her usual beer in front of her. Niall just smiles sheepishly when she asks, a look Louis doesn’t think he’s ever seen from his friend before.

“Yeah, of course,” He replies as he goes back to the kitchen and pours her a glass of water instead.

“Guess that kind of tells it, then, doesn’t it?”

“You guys finally having that baby you’ve been talking about for the last year?” Lottie asks, smiling.

“We think so, yeah. Not entirely sure, haven’t been to the doctor just yet, but we’re hopeful.”

“That’s awesome, guys! I’m so happy for you!” Louis says, but he can’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach. Yet another one of his friends moving on with their lives while he’s still left behind.

“But for us…” Zayn says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, I have a feeling this one will get the best of us. A mix of some gin and tequila.”

“Oh, dear.” Niall says, laughing as he takes his glass.

Everything is good.

  
  


The days go on and Louis grows increasingly bored.

He knows that the months between now and matching to a program are going to pass at a crawl, just because he’s waiting and wishing for it to come. So, all he can do is try his best to keep himself occupied.

He’s still working, and even managed to pick up a few extra hours since he doesn’t have to go to school anymore - but he’s still bored. And the worst part is, he’s getting more and more restless as the time goes on.

He’d assumed that things would settle down after the first month or so of being home more often than he’s ever been, but it hasn’t.

“Louis!” Phoebe shouts from the kitchen where she’s sat, working on coursework. Louis is in the living room, reading a book as the radio plays softly in the background.

“Yes, love?”

“Can you help me with this problem?” He smiles softly, a little laugh pushing past his lips as he closes the book and makes his way over to the kitchen. He’s still got his glasses perched on his nose as he looks down at the paper laid out in front of his sister. It’s long division, nothing too difficult, but he remembers how hard it always was for him to grasp new concepts when they were first put in front of him, too.

“Alright, so, you’re just going to take this last number, here,” He starts, taking the pencil and writing out the problem for her, making sure she understands each of the steps as he explains them. She seems to be getting it a bit better the more he explains it, and before long, she’s moving on to the next problem herself without Louis needing to walk her through it.

“So, you like Mr. Styles,” she says, effectively stopping Louis in his tracks as he was turning to walk away.

“Phoebe, love, you know it’s not polite to ask anyone about things like that.”

“Sorry,” she says with a frown, “Lottie says it's a good thing that you’re talking to him. And I can tell he likes you too.” He sighs softly. Listening to his little sister talk about this isn’t exactly how he’d imagined spending any part of his afternoon, but he knows it’s important. Knows it’s important to have these talks with her so she never feels the need to hide the ones that are personal to her later in life.

“Yes, I do like him just a bit. You know I’m an alpha and he’s an omega, but that doesn’t mean that I’m entitled to him, or that he has to like me back, yeah?”

“Well of course not,” she says, like it’s common sense. That makes Louis smile. He’s met far too many people who would be quick to assume it wasn’t, who would gladly teach their children that alphas are entitled to every omega that catches their eye. “But he smiles the most in the first parts of class after you two talk in the mornings. And he likes to look at the door longer after you leave.” She says everything as she’s still working on a problem, her mind perfectly balanced between the math in front of her and the conversation between the two of them.

“Does he, now?” he asks with a little, breathy laugh. He doesn’t need to be having this conversation with a nine year old, and he knows it’s not entirely right that he’s allowing her to notice these things when he hadn’t even been able to notice them himself, but it’s always been the curse of the Tomlinsons to be overly observational. He was the same way when he was young.

“I appreciate you telling me this, but you shouldn’t go and tell Mr. Styles this, alright? He has more than enough to worry about without me getting all tangled up in it, okay?”

“But Lou, you want to mate, don’t you?” She finally looks at him when she says that, a little frown on her face.

“Sweetheart, you all are my top priority right now. I love taking care of all of you, and that’s what I’ll do as long as you all need me, okay? Don’t you worry about my love life, or my mating status, or anything like that. You don’t need to worry about things like that.”

“Okay,” she finally says, effectively dropping the topic.

But that doesn’t mean it drops from Louis’ thoughts. As he makes his way back to the couch and opens the book once again, he can’t help but let his thoughts keep wandering off. He  _ does  _ want to mate - he’s wanted to mate and have a family since he was a child. He’s always wanted that. But so many other things in his life have just always seemed to take priority over it, always seemed to just keep pushing it off longer and longer until it just wasn’t a part of his thought process anymore.

Everyone he knew in secondary school is mated now, some of them with children already, some with kids on the way. He’s going to be twenty five this year, and he feels more than a little left behind, at least compared to everyone else his age.

Nearly three years ago, his friends had stopped being able to come out with him on the weekends to go drinking. Most of them had kids, or mates, or a mixture of the two, that took up all of their time. After that, they slowly just drifted apart.

It only got worse when Louis’ mum died.

When their mum had died, everything had gone upside down in the kind of way he never thought it could. He’d had to move back home, had to change everything so majorly that nothing felt right for a long time. Before he’d even had time to think about it, all of his friends were gone.

So, he threw himself into other things. It made the most sense. Throwing himself into school, into taking care of his family, into making sure everything turns out the same way even though nothing felt like it ever could. That was the only way he could ever let himself have this turn out. There was no other option.

But, thinking about it now, he can’t help but feel like he got left behind in the mess of it all. In throwing himself so deeply into school and work and family, he left himself behind.

He doesn’t want to think about it anymore, so he closes the book and forces himself to lay down for a nap.

  
  
  


They’re out of the house on time the following morning, with even a few minutes to spare. It’s such a rare occasion that Louis almost doesn’t know what to do with the extra five minutes he’s been given to not have to rush the lot of them to school.

“This feels weird.” Félicité says as they’re headed down the road towards school, and Louis laughs.

“It sure does. No rush, no stress. We should do this more often.” All he gets is a snort in response from his second eldest sister, and that’s all he needs to be fully aware this was just a fluke that will likely not happen again for a long while.

He zones out as the routine plays out, stopping the car in front of the college, then driving off, then parking in front of the primary school to walk the girls in. The mornings have often left him feeling a little more like he’s just going through the motions than he’s actively trying to go through his routine.

 

“Hello, Harry,” he says, smiling as he walks into the classroom. Harry is standing by the windowsill, watering a few of the plants that are sitting there. The pots are painted different colors than they had been the week previous, more neon than the flat colors he’d seen before, and he can’t help but smile at the small change in detail. Phoebe goes right over to her desk and sits down as she starts rummaging through her school bag.

“Hi, Louis!” The omega says as he comes over across the room, wiping his hands off on a rag he has tossed over the back of a chair. It’s the first time Louis has seen him walk properly, and he notices for the first time that it’s with just the faintest sign of a limp - but it doesn’t make him sad. It’s almost a miracle, really, that he can still walk at all.

He doesn’t say anything about it.

“You’re earlier than usual today,” Harry says, the usual smile he’s become used to seeing still on his face.

“Surprisingly. The girls were actually on time to get out of the door this morning.” Harry’s face just seems to have a permanent, soft smile on it. He gives off such a soft vibe of pure happiness, of a joy that Louis wishes he could have in his life. There’s just an aura of positivity that surrounds him in a way that he doesn’t think he’s ever felt from another person. It’s intoxicating.

His sister’s words are still bouncing around in his head. He should ask Harry out - he should just go for it, ask, and hope he doesn’t get rejected.

“Also, by the way, Harry -” Louis starts, finally gathering up the courage he’s been attempting to build up for weeks now.

“Hm?” Harry asks, just as three more kids bustle through the doorway.

“I was just wondering if you -”

“Mr. Styles, can you come over here for a minute?” Another teacher asks from the doorway, cutting Louis off mid-sentence.

“Sorry, Louis, I have to go. But I’ll see you tomorrow alright? Have a good rest of your day!” Harry gives him a soft smile before he’s following the other teacher out the door. Louis sighs. Perhaps this is for the best, anyway.

But he can’t help but dwell on it more than he needs to.

It loops on his head that this is likely for the best - that he can’t put Phoebe’s routine at stake just because he has a crush. Even if it almost feels like more than a crush at this point, he doesn’t want to put anything at risk for anyone in his family over something he can prevent. Even if it would likely just be something as silly as Phoebe having to switch teachers - he doesn’t want anything like that. He’s more than aware already that she struggles to adapt to new things, and a new teacher more than a month into the school year would only throw her off more than anything else.

He doesn’t need to do anything like that just for his own personal wants.

He gets into his car and drives away, fighting off the feeling of sadness as if he’d been rejected. The rational part of his brain keeps trying to tell him that he hasn’t been, and yet, the feeling still won’t go away.

  
  


When he gets home later that night, he plops down on the couch with a heavy sigh. He doesn’t go upstairs to change right away, but he rarely does. So as he flips the radio on to his favorite station, he can’t help the little smile as Lottie comes out into the room. She’s got a plate of food in her hand, and it looks like she’s just heated it up for him.

He’s eternally grateful for his family, especially on these nights. The nights he works so late that by the time he gets home almost everyone is asleep. But Lottie almost always stays up with him, helps him out, makes him feel a little more human than he had before her help.

“Thank you,” he says as he takes the plate and fork and eats whatever his stomach allows. He often can’t eat very much when he’s this exhausted, even when he knows he needs it.

“You up for talking?” She asks, sitting beside him.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” Louis says, sighing softly.

“Phoebe says you talk to her teacher every morning,” Lottie says, wiggling her eyebrows. “Are you finally going to try and find an omega?” Louis sighs, leaning back against the couch. Every time he gets a reminder of his age, of the fact that he’s nearly beyond an acceptable age to mate, he can’t help but feel an odd mixture of disgust and anger with himself for putting it off so long.

“Phoebe needs to hush,” he replies with a laugh, trying to play it off as best as he can. “I mean, I doubt he’s not being courted already. He’s just - he’s something else, Lots. He’s really something else.”

“In a good way?”

“Like, in the best way, yeah.”

“Mum always said you’d come to your senses eventually.” She smiles and takes another drink of her tea. “All it took was an omega to whip you into shape, I suppose. That’s what we do best.”

“Oh you hush, I’ve barely even spoken to him. You’re acting like we’re going to mate tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes, but Lottie only laughs. He can tell she’s pleased with herself, but he is almost sure she’s just happy to see him thinking about something that isn’t school. Maybe that was just what he needed - to be done with school and be able to focus on something that wasn’t that. Now, he can actually focus on mating, on finding an omega that he can love for the rest of his life. On wooing Harry, maybe.

Maybe.

“It might be good for you to finally get out there and try,” she finally says, the nurturing side in her coming out as it usually does.

“I know. It’ll be easier now, I think. I hope. But with the girls and with everything, you know, you lot are my number one priority, even over things like that.”

“That’s why we love you so much, Lou. You’re so selfless and you put everyone else before you, but everything here is handled. You deserve to be able to do some things for yourself, be it with this teacher omega or not.” He smiles and gives a happy sigh in response. “Good night, Lou. See you in the morning.”

“Night Lotts. See you in the morning.”

  
  


He’s back in the coffee shop the next morning, eyes tired and his brain barely functioning. He’s nearly let go of the odd schedule he’d gotten used to throughout medical school, but it’s taking longer than he’d like for his exhaustion levels to catch up with the new schedule. Especially with the odd shifts where he works doubles - sometimes getting home at the same time he’d have been waking up in school - it’s only served to throw him off more than he’s been able to adjust to.

“Hey, Lou!” Zayn says as he walks in.

“Hey, Zayn. How’s it going?”

“Good, I actually wanted to ask you about something.” Louis quirks an eyebrow as he looks at him, a curious smile on his face. The other man is already pulling levers on the machine to brew his coffee as they talk, Louis’ daily order a memorized part of each of their routines now.

“Alright, go on, then.”

“So, I got this invite to a party, right. A party that  _ Liam  _ is going to be at -”

“Liam?  _ The Liam?  _ The omega you’ve been trying to get to talk to for the last year?” He asks with a little laugh, smiling just a bit now.

“Yes, that Liam,” Zayn says, rolling his eyes. “But the thing about the party is alphas have to come in pairs and all of my other friends are mated or courting and…”

“Wait, it’s a pairing party?” Pairing parties have never been something Louis thought he would be interested in - and he’s not entirely sure how he feels about being invited to one. He knows that there are many people who have met their mates at them, and even more that have made great friends at them, but they still feel odd to him, in a way.

“I mean, kind of. Not formally, but yeah.” And yet, that thought of spending the rest of his life without a mate, without kids, and living with his family still haunts him.

“Alright. I’ll go. You better talk to Liam, though,” He says, smiling.

“I absolutely will. Thanks, Louis, really. You can have your coffee today for free for agreeing.”

“When is it, again?”

“Tomorrow night.” He sighs. Of course.

“See you tomorrow, Zayn.”

 

He gets into the ambulance, right beside Niall, and they’re both quiet. He’s still thinking about it, about the mating party, about where he’s at in his life. He thinks he’s content, but he’s also fully and painfully aware that there is so much  _ more  _ that he could have.

“Alright?” Niall asks after a few moments pass between them. Louis just sighs softly.

“Yeah. Zayn invited me to a pairing party with him.”

“Are you gonna go?”

“Yeah.”

“What about that one omega? The teacher?”

“I’m not sure. He’s… I feel like that’s almost inappropriate, isn’t it? He’s my little sister’s teacher.” He frowns just a bit when he says it, but he knows it’s likely the right thing to do. It’s not something professionals can do, to get affiliated with the lives of the families they work around. It doesn’t seem right, no matter how much it makes him hurt to think that he needs to move on.

“We both know that’s you pulling that out of your arse, Lou. Plenty of people court teachers. It’s third year. It’s not like you’re doing it to get her a better mark. Third year marks don’t even matter.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But I’ve already agreed to go with Zayn, so I still have to go.”

“Nothing wrong with that. It’ll be nice for you to get out of the house anyway, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Might even meet someone who takes your mind off that teacher.” Niall is grinning as he says it, but it leaves a sour taste in Louis’ mouth. He doesn’t think there’s an omega out there that could wipe Harry from his mind - but he may as well try.

  
  


He sleeps in the next morning. He wakes up at nearly half eight, and the panic settles in more than it has in a long while. There’s sunlight streaming in thick waves through his window, a rare break in the clouds bringing in more light than usual. His alarm clock is unplugged beside his bed, and sitting on his nightstand is a note:

**_Took care of the kids this morning, sleep in a little! You can pick them up if you want to :) - Lottie_ **

He sighs softly and falls back against the bed, head landing on his pillow softly. He’s almost a little disappointed that he won’t be able to talk to Harry now, but he knows there’s always tomorrow. The next day will come and then the next after that, for the rest of the year.

Being cut off without being able to ask Harry out like he’d planned is still running loops through his head, to the point where it's nearly making him anxious.

He knows it wasn't entirely Harry's fault - he hadn't just left because he was appalled by the idea of Louis asking him out - it was just him being a teacher and doing the things he is meant to do. Louis' well aware it's probably some inner instinctual alpha thing that's making him so obsessive about such a weird little incident, but he can't stop.

He sighs softly as he crawls out of bed, pulling the blanket back and smoothing it out to make his bed up, before slipping on his slippers and making his way down the hallway. The house is silent - void of the typical Tomlinson chaos, and it feels a little odd. Not having his sisters there to make noise and really force him awake isn't something he's used to.

He's almost surprised he was able to sleep all the way through the morning havoc, but having a day off is rare for him - even now - so he's not willing to give it up.

It even gives him time to figure out what he needs to wear for this evening. He wants to look nice, wants to take it as seriously as he can even if it's only for Zayn's sake. He's almost hopeful, in a way, that an evening surrounded by other unmated alphas and omegas will help him feel a little better about himself, will help to get his mind off of Harry, but he's skeptical all the same.

So, as he pours himself a cup of coffee, instead of sitting at the dining room table as he usually does, he makes his way back upstairs and starts digging through his closet instead.

  
  


It's downtown, where the streetlights cast a glow that only magnifies the odd feeling inside of Louis' stomach. It's not quite nervousness, but rather something he can't entirely figure out. Both he and Zayn are dressed in something similar to their Sunday Best, with suits buttoned all the way up and the bright red pins on their lapels to show they're alphas.

It's all apart of the tradition at these parties - he remembers them well when his mum was alive and he was young; he'd tag along with her to them while she paraded around and had the eyes of every alpha in the room on her at all times. He doesn't even think she met any of her alphas at these parties - but he may have been too young to remember properly.

It does give him at least a small sense of hope, though, that if his mum was so adamant on coming to these that perhaps he should give them a try, too.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," He says with a little laugh as Zayn parks his car in a row of parallel parked cars, then turns off the engine.

"I honestly can't believe you did, either. I was almost sure you were going to laugh your way out of the building."

"Well, it's not like I could force you to give up an evening with Liam - I know you're kind of in love with him."

"Maybe don't mention that tonight - I don't want Liam to feel weird or anything. Especially if he's like, you know, interested in someone else or something. There's no need to make things weird for either of us."

"Oh, shut up. I've seen the way you both dance around each other - it's not like there's any tension there that would scare him off." Louis rolls his eyes before he realizes they're both still sitting in a parked car on the side of the road beside a party that they're meant to attend. There aren't many people walking around them, so it’s not being noticed that they aren't inside, but it still feels awkward in it's own way.

So he reaches for his door handle and watches as Zayn does the same, and then they're out, walking towards the party.

Then the nerves settle in, for the first time all evening.

He wasn't entirely sure what he was expecting when he got into the car with Zayn, but he wasn't expecting to feel nervous at all throughout the night. Really, he was more expecting this to be somewhat of a chore, of something he was doing for Zayn just as a favor. But it settles in all at once that he could meet someone he genuinely fancies here - he could meet someone who both fancies him and they could get along.

He could finally find that missing piece and no longer need to feel like he's behind everyone else in his age group.

As much as he knows it's unlikely, and as much as he knows it's not something he can rush, he wants it so desperately.

He wants nothing more than to be able to reach that new chapter of his life that is destined to come next. So, together they climb the stairs to the large, downtown home that the party is being hosted in.

A beta answers the door - a younger girl who holds a tall glass of champagne in her hand.

"Zayn, love! So nice to see you!" The two of them walk inside of the large door before it's closed behind them.

"Hello, Nicole. It's lovely to see you as well. This is Louis Tomlinson, a good friend of mine."

"Alpha Tomlinson, lovely to meet you."

"You, as well," he says, nodding politely. There are more than a dozen others all around them, some with the bright, baby blue omega pins, some with the green beta pins, and just a few with the red alpha pins.

He's not entirely sure how he feels about it all.

"I hope you both have a lovely night! Please get me if there's anything at all that you need!" She's floating away right after she says that, moving on to the next set of guests she likely hasn't greeted yet, and Louis' nerves are back at full force.

The two of them slowly make their way further into the house, then, with Louis mostly keeping close to Zayn. There's a mixture of scents all around them, almost to the point where it's overwhelming. He's rarely found himself in a house full of all three of the secondary sexes - and it's the lack of experience in doing it that's making his head spin.

The sweetness of the smells of the omegas contrasts strongly against the more earthy scents of all of the alphas - and it's overwhelming.

He knows he'll get used to it sooner rather than later, and that it won't even bother him within just a few minutes, but he already feels like he needs fresh air. Already feels like going outside and running as far away from all of this - from the thoughts of having to put himself out there.

Zayn gives him a look. It's one he's seen several times throughout their years of friendship and he knows it's his subtle way of asking that he's alright, so he smiles in return. He is alright - he will be - as long as he can keep the chaos away from his thoughts for just a single evening.

It doesn't sound like an impossible feat.

Zayn's familiar with most of the people here and Louis thinks that might be a part of why he's so unnecessarily nervous about the entire evening. He says hello to people as they pass by them, greeting them by name with the same friendly smile that first drew Louis in to be his friend in the first place.

"So, we're meant to just walk around and talk to people for the next hour. Then there's dinner and you can either choose who you want to sit beside or Nicole will chose someone she thinks would get along with you."

"I know how these things work, Zayn," He says, a fond smile on his face as he rolls his eyes playfully. They've reached a table with a few dozen champagne and wine glasses lining it, along with elegant crystal plates with various little snack foods lining them. Zayn grabs a bottle of white wine from an ice bucket before he pours each of them a quarter of a glass. "I haven't seen Liam just yet, are you sure he's going to show up?" He can't help but ask, eyes scanning over the room once more, in a lame attempt to keep the attention off of himself. The very last thing he wants is for Zayn to say anything about him wanting to stick to his side - about not having wandered off already to speak to any pretty omega that caught his eye.

"Yeah, I know he'll be here. Maybe he's just running a bit late is all." Louis can only hope so, for both his own sake and the sake of Zayn.

But right as Zayn finishes his sentence, Nicole is opening the door once again and letting a few more guests in.

In the group of about six that come in is Liam - and beside him is Harry.

Louis' mouth feels dry in an instant, and his heart is jackrabbiting in his chest faster than it ever has in his life. The nerves feel like a live wire, like they're going to erupt inside of him and show everyone exactly how nervous he's feeling about the situation he's been thrown into.

He glares at Zayn.

"Did you know he would be here?" He asks, a whispered shout.

"Not, Harry, no. I didn't! I swear. It looks like he's here with Liam, though." Zayn has a look on his face that gives away his confusion, furrowed eyebrows and lips turned down at the corners. Louis feels much the same.

He hadn't expected this tonight.

He hadn't particularly come to this party expecting much of anything - but seeing Harry here hadn't so much as crossed his thoughts, but now that it's happening he almost wishes he'd hoped for it all along.

It's the perfect excuse.

It's the reason Louis has needed all along to be able to approach Harry and get to spend an evening with him, without that fear of embarrassing himself with the thought of outright rejection.

"We should give them a moment to settle in themselves, say hello to anyone they know, before we swarm them," Zayn says, likely being able to read the excitement from Louis about seeing Harry.

"Yeah, you're right. This is just - this is insane." His friend is smiling as he takes a short sip of the wine in his glass.

Louis puts his down on the table, suddenly not so interested in needing the courage.

"Maybe we should make it look like we're talking, so it doesn't seem odd that we're just standing here?" Zayn suddenly looks to be the one who's overthinking things, and Louis almost can't help the relief that brings.

"There's plenty of people standing around, they likely won't even notice us until we approach them."

"Yeah."

Louis turns, and starts to walk back towards the door, to make himself at least appear somewhat comfortable. He wants to look like he knows what he's doing, if for nothing else than for Harry now.

Perhaps he's fixated, or perhaps he's just determined and knows what he wants.

 

"Louis!" He hears, and the familiarity of the voice nearly stops him still in his tracks. It's Harry - Harry is approaching him. He turns towards the omega, a smile on his face, a sincere one for the first time throughout the entire night.

Harry looks beautiful, is the thing.

He's in a sleek black suit now - a contrast from what Louis' seen him wearing at school in the mornings - and the blue omega pin on his collar stands out brilliantly against the fabric. He's also thrown in a light blue bowtie, as well as a few pins in his hair to create the same look that Louis is certain only Harry could ever pull off as well as he does.

His shoes are black, too, but there's a print on them that Louis can't entirely make out without looking too hard, and the very last thing he wants is to appear skeptical of Harry's appearance. "Harry, how lovely to see you!" he says, still smiling. It really is.

"Sorry if it's a bit, er, untraditional for me to have come up to you," Harry says almost suddenly, a look on his face Louis doesn't know him well enough yet to read. "I just got a bit excited when I saw you."

"I was actually just about to come say hello to you, so I'm glad we were both thinking alike. Don't worry about tradition. I'm not worried about anything silly like that."

Harry is smiling again now - but it's different from the way his face always just seems to rest with a smile. This one shows the white of his teeth, and his scent changes with it, becomes a bit sweeter with the happiness that Louis can nearly feel coming from him.

"Do you want to dance, maybe?" Harry asks, then, and Louis holds a hand out in agreement.

There's soft music playing in the background, and an area cleared specifically for this. It's a part of parties Louis rarely, if ever, has paid any attention to, but there's a sudden feeling of gratitude for the person who thought of it.

He puts his hands on Harry's waist, and Harry puts his on his shoulders, and it's oddly perfect.

Harry's the same height as him, something he doesn't see often in omegas, but it doesn't make him feel odd, really it just makes him have yet another sense of fondness towards the omega.

He can smell Harry better when they're this close, touching just enough to be close, but not too much that would leave either of them with the title of improper. It's a sweet scent, almost something like fresh baked sweet bread his mum used to make before they went to service.

It's intoxicating.

"Can I maybe say something a bit odd?" Harry asks, and it suddenly feels like they're having a private conversation for the first time.

"Always."

"I almost missed you this morning. When your sister brought Phoebe to class. I've just grown used to seeing you every morning, I suppose," And that - that nearly makes Louis' nerves burst from beneath his skin just on it's own. He thought he was the only one who had grown fond of their morning moments, even if they were surrounded by third years each time they got to see each other.

But now, holding Harry like this as they sway to the soft, instrumental tune of the music around them, he doesn't feel so odd about the things he'd been thinking for so long. "So, seeing you tonight - I got excited. I was worried you were ill." Harry looks sheepish as he talks, a light color of blush spreading across his cheeks that Louis can barely make out in the dimmed lights around them.

"My sister unplugged my alarm clock and forced me to sleep in," Louis says with a laugh, "But the first thing I thought when I saw how late it was when I woke up was that I was a bit sad I didn't get to see you this morning." A small bubble of a laugh comes from Harry when he says it, and there's a bright smile on his face that Louis thinks he could see every day and never get sick of it.

"What a relief."

"But don't you worry, I'm fairly sure my sister won't be taking on morning duty much too often. My family is beyond insane in the mornings."

"Well, I certainly can't complain." They pause from talking for a while as they continue to dance together, Louis having to look down at his feet every once and a while to make sure he's keeping a proper form. Dancing was never something he considered himself particularly skilled at. "How many people are in your family, then?"

"The two youngest twins, Phoebe and Daisy. Félicité, the next oldest after the twins. Then Lottie, her alpha Tommy, and me. My mum passed about two years ago now, so it's just the lot of us."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," Harry says with a small frown, and it's sincere. But Louis has almost grown used to the fact she's gone, has gotten used to the people around him expressing their condolences.

"It's alright." It’s all he ever says, but it doesn't feel like a chore with Harry. It just feels like Harry really cares, like there's something there that's different from when anyone else has said it. Perhaps it's some odd form of projection, of his mind wanting Harry to be perfect in every way, but he almost doesn't think it is. "Do you have a large family?"

"Just an older sister, Gemma."

"Ah, the baby of the family then. No wonder you're so charismatic." Harry snorts out a laugh. It's an unattractive noise, but Louis loves it immediately. Loves the way Harry immediately uses a hand to cover his mouth after the sound comes out, loves the way another tint of red covers his cheeks from the slight embarrassment of it.

"And you're the oldest, hm? No wonder you're so charming."

They're flirting.

The two of them are absolutely flirting and Louis isn't sure he can handle it without erupting into flames.

He's not sure how this night turned out as well as it has, but he can't find a single reason to complain. Being beside Harry feels natural in a way he can't explain, and any trace of nerves he'd managed to build up before Harry approached him are long gone. He feels more at peace talking and flirting with Harry than he ever thought he could - and as much as he's not the type to read into things, to make things into more than what they are, he almost can't help but take it as some kind of sign that they're meant to be here.

"Perhaps that's it," Louis says, grinning. "Or maybe it's just you. I think it's something about you that makes me overbearingly charming."

"Never overbearing. Just the perfect amount of charm, really."

"That's the goal." And it really is, he thinks. Or at least it is now. Just having seen Harry come in, having seen him show up to the party that proves that he's ready to mate, ready to find someone to court him so that he, too, can move on to the next chapter of his life makes him happier than it should. "Do you want to get some wine? There's a table of drinks over there."

"That sounds nice," Harry says as the song ends and they pull away from each other. There's just a brief moment, barely even a second where Louis wants to take it back just to stay closer to Harry, but he knows this is best. He knows they can't just stay wrapped up in a bubble forever if they want to get to know each other. But, as they walk towards the table - a respectful foot of space between them - Louis can't help but keep up his little glances in Harry's direction.

He really, truly is the most beautiful omega he's ever laid eyes on.

It's a beauty that can't be contained in description of simply physical characteristics. It's his aura, the air that surrounds him, the glimmer of happiness that seems to just radiate around him. It's something Louis can't even describe properly, not in the way that it deserves.

But it's something he could admire for many nights beyond this one.

 

The two of them stand at the table, wine glasses in their hands as they talk.

Harry speaks slowly, words soft and gentle yet precise and well thought out. He speaks in a way Louis could listen to for hours without ever growing bored, without ever wanting him to stop. Every single part of him is intoxicating in a way Louis has never once experienced. Harry is different to him, and perhaps only to him, but he knows well already that there's something about Harry that draws him in tight and holds him there.

He's known since that first day, since he saw Harry injured and a part of his instincts flared up higher than they ever had, forcing him to feel such an incredible urge to protectprotectprotect at all costs, no matter what.

Before long, the hour that the host has given them to be able to talk is over and she's going about and telling everyone that dinner will be ready shortly and they should head to the table if they have a chosen partner to sit with.

"Would you like to be my date for this evening?" Louis asks, the question sincere. He hopes on just about every level that he and Harry are on the same page - that they've been flirting with each other between the little snippets of information about their lives, for a majority of the hour they've been spending together.

"Of course I would," Harry says, and a wave of relief washes over Louis.

So, together, they make their way to the dining room table.

Louis pulls the chair out for Harry, who gives a shy smile as he takes the seat. Louis pushes it in for him before taking his seat right beside him.

It's a massive table, with enough room to seat nearly two dozen people, and as a few pairs make their way inside, Louis can't help but begin to understand the novelty of it all. Everyone seems momentarily infatuated with the person they chose to accompany them for the evening, and the romance of it makes Louis smile.

Zayn waltzes in beside Liam, and that makes a surge of pride flood through Louis, that his friend was able to accomplish what he'd come here to do, and it's left the both of them with a positive outcome for the evening.

His friend chooses to sit away from him and Harry, but it doesn't bother him. If anything, he almost thinks it's best. They all deserve a little bubble of privacy.

"So, as anyone who's been to my gatherings before knows," Nicole starts, a woman who Louis thinks might be her bondmate standing beside her as she speaks. "You should still feel like you're on a private date with the person you've chosen to sit with this evening. However, there is no pressure of it just being the two of you." It's a good system. Louis has to give her that. "We aren't entirely traditional here, but of course typical etiquette applies." She pauses again. "The singles will be coming in now, paired with someone I've picked for them, and then dinner will be served!"

Just as she says that, flutters of more people come into the dining room and take a seat. A soft murmur of voices fills the room as the people who hadn't known each other before get introduced, and the atmosphere is brilliant, a mixture of comfort and first date anxiety and everything in between.

"I think the only thing I managed to forget to ask about you is how old you are," Harry says after a moment, taking a sip of the water placed in front of him. "Since you are the oldest, that is."

"I'll be turning twenty five this year," he says, hoping that's not the one thing that will turn Harry away from him. "A bit older than you were expecting, I’m sure." He finishes that statement off with a slightly awkward laugh. The thoughts of being behind slowly creep back into the very back of his mind - the same irrational fear that he's been left behind in a way. But there's no trace of disgust or anything even similar on Harry's face, and for that he's grateful. "And yourself?"

"I just turned twenty three, actually. So we're not too far apart."

Yet another wave of relief rushes through Louis.

He was well aware all along that Harry went through university to be a teacher - that there was no way he was nineteen and searching the world for an alpha to mate young. That logical side of his brain had been there all along, but there was still the aching fear inside of him.

"How long have you been teaching?" He asks, suddenly curious.

"Oh, three years, now. Well, two and a half if you count the months I had to take off after, well, you know. But I still consider myself three years in."

"That's incredible, really. Teaching is one of the hardest jobs in the world, I think."

"Ah, no. I love all of the kids. They're sweethearts." Louis had thought it would be best to keep their conversation as far away from work as possible, but he can see the passion in Harry's expressions, hear it in his voice, and suddenly the thought of avoiding talking about something that Harry clearly loves so much feels wrong.

"You're a paramedic, right?"

"For now. I've just wrapped up with medical school, actually. So I should start my residency some time this year."  Harry's eyebrows shoot up, an almost shocked expression on his face.

"A doctor? That's - impressive. Congratulations. Really."

"Thank you," he says, smiling.

Just as he finishes speaking, several people carry out dishes and start handing them off to each of the pairs sitting at the table. A few others go around and fill glasses of champagne. It all feels very formal in that moment - despite the fact that it really hadn't for a decent portion of the night.

He can tell Harry feels comfortable, and it's contagious.

He feels it too, feels the way that everyone there is there for the same reason - to find company they enjoy - and there's something about that that is uniting. Despite all of them being apart, separated into groups, they almost all feel together all the same.

 

He's almost sad when the night comes to an end.

Dinner finishes and glasses of champagne are emptied and dishes are collected.

He knows he needs to say goodbye to Harry - he knows there are things he needs to say to make sure that they're on the same page, to make sure that this could possibly be something that could happen again, but all the words get stuck in his throat. For one of the only times in his life, he finds himself entirely speechless and he has no idea how to deal with it. There have been only a few times in his life that he hasn't known what to say.

Growing up with siblings has made his tongue sharp and fast, but it seems that when he's dealing with Harry, he doesn't know how to keep that up. When he's dealing with Harry, everything about him seems to change.

He helps the omega put his coat on, even goes as far to button it for him once they walk out into the chilly evening air together. "I really enjoyed spending tonight with you," Harry says, the only other sound around them the occasional swish in the wind of a car driving down the road.

"I did, too. I really had a lovely time."

"I'm breaking tradition again, so you have to excuse me -"

"Here, I'll stop you there and ask you instead." A smile breaks out across Harry's face. "Would you like to have a proper date sometime?"

"Absolutely," Harry says, his face illuminated just enough by the same streetlights that Louis had nearly been annoyed by at the beginning of the night. The light brings out the pink of the blush on his cheeks, just barely noticeable, but Louis thinks he’s beautiful.

"Wonderful."

"I'll see you Monday morning, right?"

"Of course. I hope you have a great rest of your evening and a wonderful weekend."

"You as well, Louis. See you later."

"See you," he says, just as Harry waves and makes his way to the car where Liam is waiting for him. He can't help but stand there a moment as he watches Harry go, watches as the car pulls out of the spot where it had been parked amongst a sea of others that are no longer there, and then it's gone.

"You ready, mate?" Zayn asks, making him jump as he's pulled abruptly from the thoughts in his head.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

They're silent as Zayn drives, and the only words exchanged between the two of them are a simple goodnight as Louis gets out of the car once he's at his own house.

It's late, just past midnight, and all of the lights in the house are off. Everyone is long asleep and he'd known they would be before he even left the house, but he can't help but feel almost - sad.

He wants Lottie to be awake so he can tell her, so he can thank her for her constant encouragement and love and all of the other girls as well. He wants nothing more than to tell them all he loves them, than to tell them all that tonight was absolutely lovely, that they were right that maybe he did like Harry.

(Even if he was already more than aware of that fact).

So, as he climbs the stairs as quiet as he can, peels the suit from his body, and crawls into bed, his mind swirls.

Yet, for the first time in longer than he would like to admit, the swirling of his brain isn't negative. He's surrounded by thoughts of happiness, of finally getting something that he wanted all along. He's filled to the brim with happiness that Harry didn't reject him, didn't look down on him for this imaginary expectation he'd burdened himself with for years.

As much relief as he'd felt throughout the night, the sudden feeling of it he gets in that moment is more than he thinks he can handle on his own.

He falls asleep quickly after that, and it's peaceful.

  
  


He wakes the next morning without his alarm clock.

There's the last remnants of a wine headache just barely niggling at the back of his head, but he barely notices as he crawls out of bed and stretches. Soft streams of morning light weave into the room as the sun peaks over the horizon, casting a gentle golden glow over his entire room. He's quick to slip on a pair of trousers, then his socks, before he's out the door and making his way down the stairs to the dining room once again.

He's up early, earlier than he'd thought he would be after having stayed up as late as he did the previous night, but the few moments of silence that he knows he'll get for waking early is worth it. He loves his family, but these moments he can spend thinking and having just a few moments to himself are necessary, sometimes.

It's a little later than usual, just because the girls don't start their practices until after eight in the morning on Saturday mornings, so he thinks that might be a part of the reason that he's so awake. But - he can't help but ignore any kind of tiredness he feels just to think about how happy he is, how content he feels.

Especially as the events from the previous night come back to him in waves, then all at once.

Having a night with Harry was incredible, nearly magical, and he wants to do it all over again as many times as he possibly can. He doesn't think he could ever tire of it - doesn't think he could ever tire of Harry, and that's a thought he never believed he would have.

There was a period in his life where he genuinely believed that he would never mate, that there was no one out there that was compatible with him, that would bring him so much happiness from being around them every single day for the rest of his life.

And while he can't say any of these things are true about Harry - not without spending day after day at his side - it's something he feels deep inside of him that could be true.

It's only a few minutes before he hears gentle footsteps on the hardwood of the floor behind him, only to turn to see Lottie. She's just in a dressing gown, her hair is a mess, and her face looks pale.

"You alright, Lotts?" He asks as soon as she sits down. Her eyes look watery, slightly darkened circles underneath them.

"Feel a bit like I might die at any time," she says, a laugh in her voice. But she looks it, nearly. "Just a cold, though, I think. Nothing serious. I'm sure I'll get better sooner rather than later."

"Hopefully this one doesn't spread through the entire house." She laughs when he says it, and he can't help the little airy laughter he gives, too, because they both know that every time one of them gets sick all of them do.

It's just a side effect of living so close together at all times of every day. He's gotten used to it over the years.

"I can pick the girls up after practice today, too, so you can rest. I don't work today so it's not a problem at all."

"Thank you, Lou." He starts up a kettle for tea instead of pouring her a cup of coffee this time, mostly because he knows that tea is better for being ill than coffee, but even more so because he'd rather she had water, but neither of them would survive their mornings without some kind of caffeine.

Nearly right as the kettle starts it's high pitched shriek, the twins are coming down the stairs, already dressed and ready for the day. Félicité isn't behind them, but he knows she won't be. She doesn't do the morning clubs anymore like the girls do, having lost interest after just a few years, so she sleeps in.

But the twins immediately run to the sitting room and start arguing over something that Louis knows he won't entirely understand if he tries to intervene, so he tunes it out as best as he can.

"So, how was the party last night? Meet anyone?"

"This is going to sound crazy," he says, laughing a bit as he pours two cups of hot water and puts the tea spoons inside. "But Harry was there. We were each other's dates for the night."

"There's no way." Lottie breaks just a bit of a smile, clearly as happy for Louis as he was for himself the night before. It's still nearly hard to believe that something he'd wanted so much had actually happened, even if he hadn't really known that Harry showing up to the party itself was something he wanted.

"Yeah, it's still kind of settling in for me. We both said we'd like to hang out again sometime, too, which makes it even better."

"I'm so happy for you, Lou. I really hope everything works out."

He does, too.

  
  


Two days later, he's sick.

The twins avoided it, but Félicité got it just as bad as he and Lottie did.

So, when he forces himself out of bed to get the girls ready for school, he feels just as dead as Lottie had looked on Saturday morning. His head hurts like he'd binge drank the night before, and his body feels weak in ways he doesn't think he's felt in at least a few years.

"Girls, are you awake?" He asks, opening their bedroom door just a crack. He gets a groan in response, and he can't help the little laugh. "You two aren't even sick. Come on, then. Get ready." Lottie is still in bed, since she'd only seemed to feel worse as the days went on, so he told her to stay asleep as long as she needed.

"Can I stay home today, Lou, please? I feel so poorly," Félicité says as soon as he runs into her in the hallway. She's still in her nightclothes. bright pink slippers on her feet and her hair still in a sloppy bun from sleep.

"Yeah, you can, love. Go on and get some rest. Hopefully you’ll feel well enough to go tomorrow." She gives him a sleepy smile before turning and going back to her room, closing the door softly behind her.

He feels just as poorly, but he knows there are some things he just has to do as the alpha of the house.

And making sure the youngest of the lot get to school on time and in one piece is the number one priority for him in the mornings.

So, he does.

Not having to stop at the college takes of a decent amount of time from the commute, so they get there early enough that the hallways are nearly empty still when he's walking Phoebe to class. He'd almost considered coming in his own sleep clothes, but knowing he will be seeing Harry was the only thing that kept him from doing it.

"Good morning Mr. Styles!" Phoebe says as they walk through the door.

"Good morning!" He says, but his face turns down into just a slight frown when he sees Louis. "You look like you feel horrible."

"Glad I look it, too," he jokes, laughing just a bit. He knows Harry didn't mean it that way, but just seeing the little shy smile on Harry's face makes him nearly feel just a bit better.

"Oi, you know that's not what I meant. Here," He goes to his desk and grabs a small brown bag from beneath it, before he pulls out an apple. "Eat this. It'll make you feel better."

Louis knows that, but it makes his stomach twist into a tight knot as Harry hands it to him. He's always known that omegas nurture those they care about, that they go farther than any other creature in the world to make sure that those they care for are taken care of, but being on the other end of it from Harry makes him feel something he can't explain - and he wants to feel it all the time.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it. Are you sure it's not putting you out?"

"Oh, no, definitely not. I'm a bit of a fruit nut, I've got like four more in there now." That makes Louis smile yet again, more times than he thought was entirely possible when he feels so poorly, but Harry makes things like that happen more often than anyone else he's ever met.

"Sorry for kind of heading out quick when I'm early for a change, but I think I'm going to head home and go straight to bed," Louis says, sighing softly, "But if you're still interested," he says softer, now, a conversation not meant for eight year old ears, "I'd still like to take you up on that second date offer when I feel better."

Another light pink blush spreads across Harry's face, followed by a smile. "I'll hold you to it."

 

Harry does.

The next evening, around five at night, the phone is ringing and Lottie is telling him there’s someone on the line for him.

He knows it’s Harry almost immediately, so he crawls out of bed without a single complaint to go and take the call.

“Hiiii,” Harry says on the other end. “How are you feeling? Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you while you were ill, but, I just… missed you.” Louis laughs, a fond laugh.

“Definitely not as good as I could be feeling right now, but I think it’s slowly getting better. You couldn’t bother me even if you tried, I think.”

“Well, good to know.” Harry pauses for a moment, “But I won’t keep you from bed for long - I just. If you’re feeling better next Friday evening would you like to come to my house and let me cook dinner for you?” Louis loves that Harry isn’t afraid to ask - that he isn’t afraid to break that tradition that’s been pounded so deeply into all of their heads to follow.

“I would love to.”

“Wonderful!” Harry says, and Louis can imagine that he’s smiling, radiating that cloud of happiness that he always does.

“I better go back to bed to make sure I feel well by Friday, then.”

“Yeah, you should. Sleep well, Louis. I hope you feel better very soon.”

“Good night, Harry.”

Even when they’ve hung up the phone, he has to stand there for a long moment and make sure that he wasn’t dreaming what just happened.

  
  


He can't go to work because of how poorly he feels, so the three of them that are sick stay in bed for a majority of the day. It's not something he enjoys doing, but when he wakes and feels more refreshed than he has in what nearly feels like years, he realizes exactly how much his body needed to just sleep in for a day, to take a while and recover from the years of constant work that he's managed to put it through.

He still feels horrible, and when he checks the clock and sees that it's nearly time to pick the girls up, he still can't help the little groan that he lets out.

As much as he feels nice, he isn't entirely ready to get out of bed and continue on with the day. Even if he knows that's all a part of being who he is and he knows good and well that he will.

He lays back against the pillows just for a few more minutes.

  
  


He recovers slower than Lottie does, but he figures that's only fair since she was ill before the rest of them were. So, by Thursday, he's up and ready. And by Friday, he feels like he's perfectly healthy once again.

Lottie had asked him to get the girls today, since it was another day off of work for him and she wanted to go and spend the evening with her alpha, and he happily agreed. Ever since their date night, Louis can't help but feel more than ready to see Harry as much as he can.

Along with tonight being the night they're meant to have a real date - he's almost floating.

So, as he gets into his car and heads towards the school, he feels nothing but happiness.

  
  


He pulls up into the usual spot he parks his car in the mornings, and right as he turns his car off, the shrill sound of the school bell fills the air around him. It’s a chilly day out for late september, and the jumper he has on doesn’t do quite enough to calm the bite of the wind, so he throws a second jacket over his arm as he gets out. The sun is hidden just slightly behind the clouds above him, and the lack of the light only seems to add to the chill.

He gets all the way out of the car, then, and slowly makes his way over to the curb to wait for the girls.

Harry is outside already, standing with another alpha, but the way he’s holding himself makes Louis look twice. He looks like he’s holding himself smaller, like there’s something wrong, and it’s only that that has Louis walking closer.

“Why should I trust you to be here, teaching our children? You know as well as I do that you’re meant to be in the kitchen cleaning for your alpha. Why does your alpha even let you have a job? Irresponsible prick, isn’t he?” Louis nearly sees red as he hears the way the other alpha speaks to Harry. Every nerve ending is right on edge as he walks up to the two of them, his senses all hyper focused on the scene playing out in front of him. It’s the same protective feeling he’s been suppressing since he first met Harry, except now it feels like it’s nearly going to make him explode. He’s almost certain that if he doesn’t do  _ something  _ that he will actually die.

The other alpha is nearly red in the face from his ranting, and Harry looks small as he just stands there, taking the abuse he doesn’t deserve. Louis grits his teeth, the pain in his jaw grounding him.

“Is there a problem here?” He hears himself asking before he’s even fully aware he’s fully approached the two of them. He felt himself walking towards the pair the entire time, but actually filling that space and getting close enough to join the conversation, he hadn’t entirely realized.

“Are you this little wet arse’s alpha?” The other man asks, voice still shrill with his anger, and Louis’ eyebrows immediately shoot up. It sets off yet another instinctual signal inside of him, hearing someone insult Harry to his face, that he can’t entirely explain. Harry’s face twists into a look Louis can’t quite read, but he’s only angrier now.

“No, I’m not. But any decent alpha doesn’t only need to protect their own omega, you pathetic knothead. If anything, you should consider yourself blessed that someone as kind and gentle as Harry is teaching your kid, ‘cause maybe they won’t turn out as much of a cunt as you are.”

“ _ Excuse me _  -”

“No, you have nothing else to say. Now get out of here,” Louis says, keeping his voice calm despite the raging anger he feels simmering beneath his skin. The man huffs, walking away, his kid following closely behind.

Harry is still stood the same way he had been before, gaze downcast and lips turned down in a frown. “Are you alright?” Louis asks, reaching out to place a hand on Harry’s shoulder. He doesn’t shy away from the touch, but rather almost seems to lean into it, so Louis can’t help the kind, sympathetic smile he gives.

“Yeah, thank you,” Harry says, sighing softly. Louis can see that something is wrong - can see from the way his eyes are nearly glazed over, that he’s so close to panicking in the way omegas only ever do when they’re threatened by an alpha. It makes his blood boil stronger, makes him angrier than he’s been in a long time. “That doesn’t happen often, but it still happens. Suppose not everyone is still entirely keen on omegas working.” Louis frowns. He remembers when he was a kid that his mum was overjoyed when omega rights activists had finally gotten parliament to pass the bill that omegas could work - but he knew there were still so many, too many, limitations. But he had never quite made the connection in his mind that there were real, living people who genuinely thought that omegas shouldn’t be allowed to work.

“Don’t worry about him. You’re great at what you do and I can’t imagine anyone else who could be better at it than you are.”

“Thank you, Louis.” Harry says softly. “Do you want to maybe come over a little earlier than we planned? If you don’t it’s fine - I just - I want to change and stuff but I also don’t want to be alone until eight tonight.”

“I can do that, absolutely.” Harry smiles. Louis feels incredible.

  
  
  


Harry's house is a small little cottage on the outskirts of town.

It's painted a soft shade of blue, and the front door is a slight off white. There are flowers in the front garden, perfectly positioned inside raised garden beds that are painted the same off white that the front door is, and it all screams exactly what Louis had expected when he thought of Harry's house. There's something very expected about all of this, about the softness that he can sense inside of Harry that seems to transfer into other things and he's almost certain it's one of the many things that draws him into the omega so strongly.

As he comes closer to the front door, he notices that the front window is open, and inside he can hear a record spinning quietly, more instrumental music streaming through the air. He almost feels, for a moment, like he's interrupting, like he's intruding into a scene where he doesn't belong as perfectly as Harry so clearly does.

But, he knocks anyway.

And as soon as he does, Harry answers the door. He's wearing jeans now, instead of the suit that Louis has almost grown used to seeing him in, and a baby pink apron around his waist, marked up with little streaks of flour. Yet another thing Louis thinks he should have imagined when he thought of Harry - when he thought of coming over and being around Harry for an entire evening just between the two of them.

His mind hadn't quite wondered to the domestic side of Harry just yet - hadn't quite made it's way into the thoughts of Harry keeping a home and holding it on his own with the same omega strength his mother had. Something had kept him from thinking about all of that until that moment, seeing Harry looking so happy in his little bubble of his life that he's allowing Louis inside of.

"Hi, Louis! Please, come in, the food is almost ready."

"Thank you," he says with a smile, walking through the door. And he's suddenly hit with a wave of Harry's scent stronger than he's experienced before. It nearly smells like he's fresh out of heat, like he was so recently here -

He stops himself before those thoughts can even begin, fully aware that it's improper for him to be thinking of such things before they've properly started courting.

Harry takes his jacket and hangs it in the closet right near the door, before the two of them walk to the kitchen. There's already a big spread of food set out on the table, almost making it evident how long Harry had been working at it all, and it brings back that same feeling he'd had before - of being cared for by an omega that cares for him. "Oh, Harry, you really didn't have to do all of this. This is incredible."

"I love to cook. It's something I enjoy, so this really wasn't a problem for me at all." He's smiling as he says it, then he gets a pair of oven mitts on and pulls out the final dish from the oven. "Do you want something to drink?"

Harry's perfectly polite, and it continues all the way through the entire evening. Even as they sit together and eat, Louis showering Harry with more compliments than he thinks he's ever given in his entire life, the entire night is perfect.

 

"I don't want to keep you," Harry says after a while, as Louis helps him do the washing up with the dishes. He knows his mum would have scolded him if he didn't, even as a child, but he wants to do it for Harry - wants to help him with everything. It's likely another instinctual side effect of being so infatuated with him, but he doesn't mind even in the slightest. "But I also really don't want this night to end." He's giggling, just a bit, from the two glasses of wine that they'd each had with their dinner.

He's ever so slightly red in the face, showing that he's just a bit tipsy, and Louis finds it incredibly endearing.

"How about we listen to some music? Watch a film? I don't have to be home for a while." Harry lights up when Louis says that - and it sparks a different kind of happiness for Louis all the same. He follows Harry into his sitting room and takes his own spot on the couch as he watches as Harry gets a film into the player.

He doesn't pay much attention to what he picks - just as happy as he thinks Harry is to be able to keep spending the evening together. It's still barely after the time that they'd originally planned for Louis to even show up - and despite already having spent three hours together, he's not bored or tired of being with Harry.

He's been around more than enough people that have drained him after only a few hours of being around, and those are the types that he always thought he would end up courting - and it was always that thought that scared him away. He never thought he would end up here, never thought he would be so happy so quickly.

They're just as close to each other as they were the night they were dancing - or maybe even closer. Harry's thigh is pressed against the side of Louis' and the omega lays his head right on Louis' shoulder, while he puts an arm around him.

He feels like he's home, like he's found his place in the world already.

He feels like he could stay here forever, like he could already find a place here in Harry's life and Harry could find a place in his.

But barely twenty minutes into the film, Harry's nodding out, still wine tipsy and warm, so Louis knows it's time for him to go. He takes just a moment to look at Harry - to take a moment to appreciate the beautiful creature he's gotten the blessing to be able to spend his time with. He's just as cute as he always is when he's sleeping, his lips just slightly parted as little puffs of air escape between them.

"Harry, love," he says, putting a hand on his shoulder to wake him. The omega stirs, then sits up and blinks his eyes a few times.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says, rubbing his eyes. "I didn't even think I was tired. I was just. Comfortable. You make me feel comfortable." He's tired, Louis thinks, probably saying things he wouldn't say if he was fully awake, so he doesn't let himself show exactly how happy such a simple statement makes him feel.

"You're fine. I'm going to let you sleep, okay? I just wanted to let you know that I was leaving."

"Thank you," Harry says, yawning just a bit, covering his mouth with his hand.

"If you'll have me, you'll absolutely be seeing more of me, though," he says, smiling as he takes his arm away from being wrapped around Harry.

It's custom to wait two days after the second date to ask an omega to court - and that's one of the traditions he isn't entirely willing to forsake. He wants to give Harry enough time to think about it, to consider if he really is willing to court Louis and think about building a life together forever. He knows courting doesn't mean they have to mate, but he's never courted anyone, and he doesn't want to if Harry isn't equally as serious as he is.

"I want to see you as much as possible," Harry replies, a small laugh as it's clear that he's slightly more awake now. "Let me walk you out."

"Thank you," Louis says, standing alongside Harry as the omega fetches him his coat and one for himself as well.

He puts it on as they walk towards the door, and as they step outside he can't help but feel the happiness of the night, of the two of them together surrounding them.

“Tonight was lovely,” Harry says, pulling his jacket a little tighter around himself as the wind picks up. “I had a lot of fun, thank you.” Harry’s smile is beautiful in the low, dim light around them. The green of his eyes isn’t as sparkling without a bright light, but still brilliant.

Louis can’t explain the sudden nervousness he feels, that he’s consistently felt around Harry, but it’s an incredible feeling. If he could hold on to it forever he would.

Harry smiles again, hand moving up to move a stray strand of hair from his face. There’s a street-light that casts a ray of yellow light over his face, and he looks beautiful.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” So, Louis does. He leans in slowly and places a gentle kiss on Harry’s lips, his hand moving to rest on the omega’s hip. The kiss is chaste, but more than enough to swell Louis’ desire for Harry - for all of Harry. He pulls away just a moment later and Harry has his bottom lip tucked between his lips, but the corners of his mouth are turned up in a smile.

“Good night, Harry.”

“Ring me later?” He asks as he opens the door to his flat.

“Of course.” As Harry retreats behind the door, Louis exhales the breath that nearly feels like he’s been holding it all night. He doesn’t let himself stand there too long, just to avoid it being odd, and walks back to his car.

However, as he starts the drive home, he can’t help but feel like Harry is changing everything. Maybe this is what his mum had meant when she said his mind would change one day, or maybe this is just what he needed all along.


	3. III

 

When Louis steps into Harry's classroom Monday morning, he's not there.

Phoebe doesn't seem surprised by it, but rather just goes right over to her desk as the step-in teacher stands at the front of the classroom, her name written on the board. He can't help the little pang of sadness that still settles inside of him from not seeing the omega, though, as he goes out of the room and makes his way back to the car.

Until he realizes that it's a very real possibility Harry had taken the time off for his heat.

It would make sense - that his scent was more overwhelming than normal as it approached. He hadn't even thought of the possibility that Harry could be starting his heat instead of just ending - but once the thought is in his brain he can't seem to shake it. It's certainly not proper for him to think about Harry like that - to think about him so needy and wet and wanting an alpha - but he can't help it. Just the thought of seeing Harry in that state has him half hard in his pants, to the point where it's just nearly uncomfortable to drive, but he forces on.

He almost can't help but wonder how long these thoughts - these fantasies - about Harry have been around, or how long they're going to stay around. He can almost think back to his last rut, to when his mind had been so clouded with the lust, and he's almost certain he thought of Harry.

He'd thought of Harry, and that's entirely shameful.

And yet, he doesn't feel nearly as much guilt for it as he should.

 

He gets to work before long, and as soon as he crawls into the cab of his ambulance, he's able to push those thoughts to the side. He knows it's something he'll come back to later, think about when he's alone, but for now, it's not the number one thing he needs to be thinking about.

Even if it's harder then he would like it to be.

 

After working yet another double shift - having talked to his boss to be able to have four days off a week and to work three doubles instead - he gets home. It's one thirty in the morning, and there's exhaustion deep in his bones, but he can't help but think back to Harry.

He wonders how he's doing.

If he's really in heat. If he's touching himself - if he's desperate and in need of someone to take care of him.

Those thoughts - those are the dangerous ones. Louis has always had this deep, burning urge inside of him to take care of someone, to love someone so deeply and hold that kind of trust that only an omega can give. He's always craved it - and thinking of Harry, thinking of how he might be the one who needs it, needs him, one day, has his mind in a whirlwind that won't stop.

He's stripped out of his day clothes quickly, before he's laying back in bed with a hand down his pants.

The thoughts of Harry already have him half hard in his pants, but as he wraps a hand around his cock, it's even easier to bring those thoughts to the surface.

It's too easy, and he doesn't even have to focus on Harry in heat. He thinks of Harry in general, of the way he moves, the way he talks, how beautiful he would look on his knees with his hair tousled and sleep soft.

He thinks of the slow way he talks and how wrecked his voice would sound with his knot buried deep inside of him.

It doesn't take much more than that, just a few more strokes of his hand before he's coming all over himself. He doesn't knot - not without the scent of an omega to throw him over that edge - but he's sated and happy, filled with all of the thoughts of Harry.

Even if his two day plan hadn't exactly worked out as well as he'd thought it would, he knows he's going to ask the omega to court as soon as they have some time to themselves once again. It's something he's not even worried about, suddenly, like he just knows that no matter how it plays out he'll have gotten lucky to spend any amount of time at Harry's side.

Harry is the serenity that everyone hopes for in an omega, that everyone dreams of and wants when they think about who they're going to court, but only the luckiest actually get the chance.

He considers himself lucky, along with so many other things.

Seeing Harry again is only going to make him feel even better, like an even luckier man than he already is.

  
  


Friday morning, Harry's back in his classroom when Louis walks Phoebe in. He's practically glowing - his skin almost shining with the way that the light around the room bounces off of him. He looks incredible, healthy, practically renewed. Louis doesn't even think it's just because he admires the omega so much, but he can't help but notice how beautiful he really is.

Something about not seeing him for an entire week has him wanting to stop and stare, has him wanting to be selfish and take his time to speak to Harry. But since he knows he only has his short few minutes that he gets every morning, he quickly makes his way over to the other man. He's sitting at his desk, picking up slices of an apple and popping them into his mouth as he reads over a book before he realizes that Louis is there. "Oh, good morning, Lou!" Harry says. Lou. It's a new nickname and Louis is already entirely in love with it.

"Good morning, Harry. How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm good, yeah. Yourself?"

"I'm great," he starts, looking at the clock to make sure he isn't about to but cut off by an improperly timed bell. "I actually wanted to ask if you would like to have dinner again some time? Or even just drinks, really. I just wanted to have an evening to ask you something." This makes a little corner of Harry's mouth turn upwards into a smile, like he knows exactly what Louis is going to ask already. Louis knows he likely does - that he's ready to ask Harry to court and doing so would make him happier than he could describe. And it's something as simple as Harry accepting the invitation to be asked the question - just to be asked - that has him already feeling like he's on top of the world.

"I'm free tonight. My house is a little, er..." He pauses, as if trying to think of the right word. Louis could think of a few, but none of them are appropriate. "How about that little restaurant down the road? At four?"

"That sounds lovely." Then, the bell rings. It's good timing, for what feels like the first time ever. "I'll see you tonight, Harry."

"Can't wait!" Harry calls as he walks out of the room, and Louis can already hear him addressing the class of third years before he's out the door. It's endearing. Something about all of the passion that Harry encompasses, for little things like gardening or for big things like the children he cares for every single day.

Louis' heart almost feels like it swells in his chest when he thinks about it.

  
  


The restaurant Harry had picked out is perfect.

It's got bright lighting on the inside, with little white table cloths put over the top of each table. There's a small vase with a single red flower placed in the center of each table, and a record plays from the corner of the room. The atmosphere really is romantic in ways even Louis doesn't think he could have thought up. So as he walks into the building, Harry beside him, and tells the alpha at the front that they have a reservation under Tomlinson, he feels giddy.

"Have you been here before?" He asks, once they're settled in at their table.

"I haven't, no, but Liam said that this is a lovely place and I trusted him. Seems he was right."

"I suppose so."

"So, how was your week? I apologize for kind of... disappearing without a word. Especially after such a lovely date. That definitely wasn't my intention at all. I was a bit worried you would have thought I was like, running away, or something like that."

"Oh, no, no not at all. I understand. Sometimes things like that just slip out of mind."

"Thank you," Harry says, a light pink blush over his cheeks. It's easier to see in the bright light of this new restaurant, just like every other detail on his face. There's a freckle right on the tip of his nose that he hadn't noticed before, just like a tiny scar on his cheek. Small details that he hadn't noticed before but keeps noticing the longer they're able to spend time together.

He thinks that's what he hopes to get out of courting - except less with the physical and more with the emotional. He wants to get to know Harry better, wants to learn everything about him that Harry is willing to tell.

"But my week was lovely. I haven't actually told anyone yet, but I've matched into a residency program at the hospital downtown. So, in about two weeks I'll be able to quit my job I have now and start taking my intern shifts at the hospital. I matched as a pediatrician."

"Oh, my gosh, Louis! That's incredible! I bet it's such a massive relief."

"Absolutely. It's been years in the making, but now that it's here I almost... I'm almost worried I'm not ready? Like, all of these kids' lives are going to be in my hands. If I mess up it could be horrible."

"I know what you mean," Harry says, taking a sip of his water. "Of course not in the exact same way, but my first day I started teaching... It was insane. I realized that all of these kids are my responsibility every day. I have to make sure they're all okay and well and going to make it back the next day. It is scary, because as the adult you are the one responsible."

"But it's worth it, right?"

"No." Harry deadpans, but he barely lasts a moment before he's laughing. "Of course it is! I can't see myself doing anything else. I love kids, and working with them every day is absolutely incredible."

"I can't wait to be able to do it, too."

"You're going to be incredible at it." Louis smiles, and before long their food is brought out and set between them.

Talking comes easily between them.

Harry is so easy to talk to, to keep a conversation flowing with. He talks so easily about his day, about his kids, about the books they're reading and how he hopes to be a better version of himself every single day. Louis follows up, comes up with as much meaningful conversation as he can, but he feels like he could listen to Harry forever, listen to the soft silk of his voice going on and on for the rest of his life.

So, once the bowl of ice cream that they decided to share is brought out, he decides to ask.

"So, I said I wanted to ask you a question, and I have a feeling you already know what I'm going to ask, but I'm going to ask anyway." Harry grins again, the dimples in his cheek getting deeper with it. "After two dates, I already know that you're so much more than interesting and I absolutely see the possibility of a future with you. And I don't have a single clue what I'm doing with any of this, but I like you, a lot, so I'm going to ask. Would you like to start a formal courtship with me, Harry?"

"I would love to," is all he says, and it's more than enough.

"I can't wait."

  
  


So it begins.

He'd ended up at the library shortly after that date had ended to read up on the process of how to court properly. Somewhere along the line since he'd finished secondary school, the information about things like that had left him. Perhaps that's how it's supposed to happen, he thinks, since almost everyone he knows is already courted and mated and has been for years, but the librarian doesn't give him any kind of odd looks when he checks the book out and immediately goes and sits down with it.

He doesn't plan on taking it home, mostly because he doesn't want to have to deal with any kind of teasing from his sisters about it, so instead he starts taking notes on his notepad, about the customs of each date after the first and how he's supposed to go about all of this.

He really is clueless.

He's grateful Harry is patient enough to deal with him, to understand that he's been in school his entire life and hadn't even given courting a thought, really. All of this is uncharted territory.

Supposedly the first week he's supposed to give as many gifts as he can, to show the omega how much he's dedicated, and how much he's learned about him and his personality in order to be able to give gifts he enjoys.

Then, the second week is Harry's week.

The omega isn't meant to give gifts, at least not when the book was written, but rather he gets to choose the places that they go on dates, and gets to pick where they go when they're together. It's a rather cute idea, he thinks, and he can't help but smile when he thinks of all of the places Harry will take him.

The third week is Louis', once again.

It's the week he's meant to prove what kind of alpha he would be for Harry. The book goes on into how this goes back to their primal days, back when they were able to shift fully into their wolves and were one with nature, but he skims over that bit. It says he's just meant to be around more often than not, to do things for Harry and show him that he's able to protect him and keep him safe.

It almost seems silly, but he's not one to go against the rules. The book specifies that that's the first week they're meant to be able to see each other naked, but they still can't have sex.

Harry's supposed to cook and do small domestic things for Louis to show that he can be a good omega, if both of them accept the courting.

And from there, they just continue to go on normal dates until they decide to mate.

It all feels incredibly strict, formal, and almost systematic.

He's not entirely sure how he feels about it, but if tradition says this is what he's meant to do, that's exactly what he plans to do.

 

So the first thing Louis brings to Harry's house after Harry invited him back over, was a new apron.

He'd seen it when he was walking through the shops, and the little patterns of ducks printed all over the front had immediately made him think of Harry. It's not something he can explain, how he'd seen it and known immediately that it was what he wanted to give to him, but as he hands the box over to the omega, he doesn't doubt himself even a little bit.

"Louis, I know you said you wanted a formal courtship, and if that's something you still want, I'm certainly not going to say no, but it feels a little traditional, doesn't it?" Harry asks once they're both inside and sat down on the couch. There's food in the oven, filling the little house with the strong smell of it.

"Oh, thank god," Louis says with a laugh. "I was actually in the library the other night, looking up how to actually do a formal courtship. I didn't remember what they taught us about it in secondary school for the life of me."

"My mum did a formal courtship, and it just looked like so much work, especially on her alphas part. Like, she'd said that supposedly it was some immense declaration of love, but I think that can be done better without following some... preset rules."

"I'm so glad you think so, too, because it really did seem odd," He looks down at the box when he says it, "You can still open that, though. I think you'll like it."

"Are you sure? You really didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to. It made me think of you." Harry smiles when he opens the box, and then the smile breaks out into a full on grin.

"I love this! It's so cute, oh my gosh. Thank you, so much."

Harry hugs him.

His scent fills Louis' head all over again, bringing it right back to the front of his thoughts, and he knows he could never get enough. He doesn't think he could ever get enough of Harry.

 

Louis' first shift at the hospital comes nine days later, and it's exhausting.

They start him out almost immediately on the twenty four hours on, thirty six hours off rotation, and it's nearly got him completely on his arse at the end of each day.

The kids are incredible - they are - and he loves working with them more than anything. But he wishes he didn't have to be so sleep deprived every time he saw them, every time he was able to interact and work with them. He's almost worried that it's taking away from his ability to help the kids around him, but all of the senior doctors on his floor don't say anything. They even let him make a few of the calls, and smile when he answers their questions accurately almost every time.

So for almost the entire first week at the hospital, he only sees Harry twice.

Harry understands, because of course he does, and Louis is once again almost stunned by how incredible Harry is as a person.

That sets in all over again when Harry comes in at six in the evening on a Wednesday, with a brown bag in his hand.

Louis has his baby blue scrub shirt on over the top of his dress pants, since he'd been spending most of the shift in the NICU and had already gotten thrown up on three times, but he's happy. Seeing Harry only elevates his mood even more.

"I brought you dinner, because I know you said you were living off of cafeteria food, and I don't think that's fair."

"Harry, you didn't have to -"

"I know. I wanted to. I'll eat with you if you have time?"

"I'd love that," he says, smiling as they both make their way to the lobby and sit down together. They eat mostly in silence, Harry letting Louis enjoy his short amount of a break that he gets to have in peace, but even just being able to sit beside Harry, to have a moment with him during such a long day, it makes him feel so much better.

"I was thinking," Harry says forty-seven minutes into Louis' hour long period to eat his food. "I know your shifts are so long, and I live closer to the hospital than you do... so if you ever wanted to just, come over, and sleep at my house... I wouldn't be opposed."

He knows what Harry is asking.

Sleeping in the same bed together is a step he knows most people don't take until they're nearly finished courting, but since they hadn't gone through with their courting, there aren't any rules. He can't wait to be able to sleep in the same bed with Harry, to cuddle him throughout the night and be able to be with him in such an intimate way.

"I would love that. Are you sure you'd be alright with me coming in at nearly one in the morning, though? I wouldn't want to disturb you and tonight I don't get off until half midnight."

"I don't mind. I'll leave the door unlocked for you, and leftovers if you want them."

"That sounds lovely. I'll see you tonight then, Harry."

"See you tonight, Louis."

As Harry leaves, taking his little bag and the two containers that he'd come with to bring Louis dinner, Louis can't help but smile.

Perhaps they haven't courted properly, perhaps they've broken that tradition that was meant to be followed, but he feels in every sense that what they did was what was right for the two of them. They did what they needed to do to make it work for them, and it's so clear that it's working even better than he ever thought it could have.

Things are just working out seamlessly, and even now, three weeks into what would have been the two of them courting - Louis feels complete. He feels that Harry is slowly worming his way into his heart, slowly filling that gap that had been there so deeply before.

He feels incredible.

  
  


When he slides into bed beside Harry that night, seven hours later, Harry is still and quiet. Louis can just barely hear the little puffs of breath coming from his slightly parted lips, and he's curled up on the right side of the bed with a single pillow under his head. The blanket is thick, with a thinner one above it that's folded down to the end of the bed just to cover Harry's feet.

It's adorable.

So he slides into bed and wraps his arms around Harry's waist, and as the omega leans back into the touch, even in his sleep, Louis feels even more complete.

  
  
  


He wakes up around noon the following day, without any sunlight in the room. Harry had left the blinds down for him, to keep the light out, and Louis can't help but be fond at such a simple act of kindness that really shows exactly how much Harry thinks of him, even when he doesn't need to.

He doesn't bother changing into his day clothes when he gets out of bed, mostly because he doesn't have anywhere to go for the day other than home whenever he feels that it's necessary, so he goes into the kitchen to find a little note from Harry on the refrigerator.

 

_ Hiii Lou, I'll be home at 3:30 if you're still here - if not, I'll see you later! -H _

 

He smiles.

Of course Harry would invite him to stay.

Harry is so nice, kind in a way he's never experienced from another person, and it still manages to make his heart skip a beat in his chest when he thinks about it.

  
  
  


When Harry gets home, Louis is reading a book he'd brought with him while he sits on the couch. He'd decided that staying and waiting for Harry to get home would be polite, would be the nice thing to do because he'd let him stay the night and there were so many ways he wanted to thank him.

Even if most of the time he's completely clueless when it comes to figuring out how to show Harry all of the appreciation that he feels inside of him for the omega.

"Hey, Louis!" Harry says as he walks into the living room, hanging his school bag on the hook where Louis has always seen it hung when he comes to the house. Then he's stripping off his suit jacket and tossing it over the back of a kitchen chair.

"Hey, Harry, how was work?"

"It was lovely. Phoebe told me to tell you hello."

"That girl is much too intuitive for someone her age."

"Did I tell you that the second day I had her in class she said that the two of us would make a 'lovely pair' and that your older sister has been saying you need to mate for a long time?" Harry's laughing when he says it, but it only makes a little flame of embarrassment flare up inside of Louis' stomach.

"Oh, dear. She's shy, but sometimes she just says things and doesn't really realize exactly what she's saying."

"I thought it was cute. When it happened I didn't really pay much attention to it. But maybe she's smarter than you think. Maybe she knew all along how good of a match we'd make," Harry says and gives a wink. He sits down beside Louis, then, and gives a long exhale.

"I guess you're right. I wonder if she can see the future." Harry laughs at that, and he looks happy. "Do you want me to make you up some tea? I think you deserve a little rest after working all day while I was just sat here most of it."

"No, no, that's alright. You don't have to."

"I'm going to anyway. Just cream, yeah?"

"Yeah. Thanks for remembering." Louis smiles in return before he goes to the kitchen and pours enough water for the two of them into the kettle, then puts it onto the stove. He stands there while it boils, all while he looks out the window and takes a long moment to appreciate the cute little area that Harry had chosen to live in.

It's quiet.

The neighbor's house is visible, just a few dozen meters away, but it's far enough away that the little cottage almost feels like it's on its own. There's something so peaceful about that, about feeling like there's a little corner of the world that Harry can completely call his own.

Along with it being so close to the part of the city where the two of them work - it's incredible.

Once the water is ready, he pours it into two cups and lets the tea steep for a moment, before he pours in just a splash of cream for each of them and carries the cups out to the living room.

"So, I was trying to think of how to tell you, but I couldn't figure out how to without just out and saying it. So. My rut is going to come up in a few days, so I'll be away for a little bit."

"Oh, alright. Thanks for letting me know." Harry smiles as he takes his cup and cradles it in his hand, the steam coming up and touching against his face.

They sit there for a long while together, finishing their tea as the record that Louis had put on before Harry had gotten home still plays quietly in the distance behind them. It's so peaceful - so comforting to think that they're able to sit together in silence and still enjoy each other's company. He thinks that's one of the main things that can show that the two of them would work out so well together. That they don't have to be interacting, that they don't have to be talking or keeping each other entertained every single moment of every single day. He's met far too many people that need that, that need the constant stimulation that only leads to someone feeling more drained than anything before long.

But with Harry - it's almost like they were shaped for each other, molded exactly in the other's image just to make everything work out exactly how it needed to.

"Louis?" Harry asks after a while, when both of their mugs are set to the side.

"Hm?"

"Will you kiss me?"

And that.

That wasn't exactly what Louis was expecting, but he certainly isn't going to turn it down. He doesn't respond with a yes or no, but instead he scoots himself closer to Harry, until their thighs are touching once again, and runs a hand down the omega's cheek. There's no need for words in that moment, as he leans in and presses his lips against Harry's.

It's different from their first kiss - both because it's less chaste and because of the stronger feelings. But the stronger feelings make it different in ways he never thought possible. His mind runs in circles at high speed as he's so close to Harry, sharing such an intimate moment with him.

He wraps an arm around Harry's waist, pulling him closer even if there's nearly no space between them. It feels like he could never be close enough, like he could never get enough of Harry even if he tries.

They stay like that for a long while, until Louis' lips nearly feel chapped with it and he's nearly half hard in his pants.

Harry's scent changes with it, too, but neither of them say anything.

Instead, once they've pulled apart, Harry just climbs into Louis' lap, facing him, and lays his head onto Louis' shoulder.

It's the type of cuddling that intimate doesn't even begin to describe.

And before long, Harry's dozing off once again, still and pliant against him with his nose right against the scent gland in Louis' neck. He's not actively scenting him - at least Louis doesn't think - but it's nearly the same thing.

Perhaps Phoebe had been right.

The two of them really do make an incredible match, and even with only such a short time under their belt of time spent together, he knows that forever isn't such an impossible thing to think about, anymore.

He ends up falling back asleep, too, just surrounded with so much of Harry that it puts him at peace. And when he dreams, they're filled with happiness, with color, and mostly with a beautiful green.

 

His rut comes and goes with a blur of thoughts of Harry.

He'd known, really, that Harry would be the main focus for him throughout the entirety of it, but he can't help the little edge of guilt that prickles at his heart when he thinks about it in the brief moments of clarity that push through his mind.

It would have been odd to ask if it was okay - and he knows fully that he would never be able to bring it up to Harry without some kind of embarrassment stopping him from doing so - but it still feels improper, like he's taking something without permission.

Even if the thought is irrational.

He gets up and goes to the door of the little guest house that his family has dedicated as a place for any of them to spend ruts and heats, with a bit of privacy but not too far away that they're still able to be cared for by the family. Outside, there's a few tins of vegetables, along with a tin foiled plate full of food from the last meal he'd missed.

But beside it is something he's never gotten before, during his ruts.

A small, white box, with a little purple bow on top of it. Lottie's handwriting is on a note on top.

 

_ “Harry dropped this off today - not sure what it is but he asked me to give it to you.” _

 

He sits at the small table inside of the little kitchen and eats his food, cold, before he's digging into the box. A note from Harry sits atop a folded up, pink jumper inside.

 

_ ‘Think of me xxx’ _

 

It's so entirely unexpected, but even just as he opens the box, the meaning of the gift is clear. It's clear Harry had spent at least an entire day wearing the jumper, to make entirely sure that it was covered entirely in his scent. It's so sentimental, something Louis never even would have thought to ask for, but now he isn't sure if he could force himself to go without it.

Just the scent of his omega has his mind going foggy again with the heady desire. It never entirely went away, never does during his ruts, but for some moments it subsides, goes on the back burner of his mind until it forces its way to the front all over again. And Harry's scent - the powerful, intoxicating smell of Harry all around him - quickly drives him right back into the haze of desire.

Food only half eaten, Louis takes the jumper and immediately goes back to the room.

Permission granted, the guilt goes away almost completely.

 

+

 

"Doctor Tomlinson," a nurse says from across the room before she hands him a chart to read over for a patient. Doctor - he realizes - and he can't help the small, proud smile that passes over his face. He's still not entirely used to it - not entirely used to finally having reached the goals he'd worked so, so hard throughout his entire life to reach.

There's something about it that relief can't even begin to describe. He can't even explain the way it feels to finally be exactly where he wants to be in life, after all of the years.

He reads over the chart quickly, reading enough about the girl to know what he needs to before he's walking through the door of her room.

She's in a white sweater that nearly drapes over her knees, the lightly colored blue jeans loose around her legs. There's a stuffed animal in her lap, and a sticker decorated with giraffes on her arm.

"Hello Annie," He says before he walks over to her. An alpha sits in the corner, who he assumes is her father. "How can I help you today?"

"My chest hurts," she says, a frown on her face. Her voice is hoarse, and she winces when she speaks. It's barely noticeable, but Louis catches the slight grimace, catches the way she holds her body in that exact position that shows she's in more pain than she's really letting on. "I’ve been coughing and it won't stop hurting."

"Alright, well, we'll get that all checked out and see why it might be causing you trouble." She's six years old and reminds him more of his own sisters than anything else, and he thinks that's another reason he loves his job so much. He feels like he can take care of those that he loves even more, even if it's just finding a resemblance in his patients.

"If you want to go ahead and change into this," He says as he grabs a gown from the closet beside him and hands it to her, "I'll be right outside that door there and you let me know when you're ready for me to have a look, alright?"

"Alright."

He stands outside of the door as promised, and waves at a nurse as she walks by. He's slowly beginning to get to know everyone in the hospital around him, from those that are nurses, to his fellow interns, the residents, and even a few attending doctors. It's such a massive range of experience, of life and love and passion that sometimes he can't help but think about how pleased he is that this is the career path he took.

A hospital is the only place in the world, he thinks, where everyone there is simultaneously fighting to survive themselves all while fighting even harder to make sure every other person in the building does, too.

"Doctor?" A little voice asks, breaking him away from his thoughts.

"All ready?"

"Ready." She's got a tiny smile on her face, but it's still hiding the pain. His resident walks in beside him as he walks into the room, just to keep an eye on him, make sure he's doing the right things, and he's grateful for it.

"Alright, now if you could just lay back for me, please. I'm going to put just a little bit of pressure on a few different areas around your sides, okay? And I want you to tell me if it hurts." She nods, a small flash of fear going across her face. He knows this is what he has to do, though, so as she lays back, he pushes aside any thoughts that he could be hurting her by touching her.

He starts by just barely pressing on the left side, and she doesn't even wince.

He presses with the same pressure all the way up her left side and doesn't get any reaction, so he rules out any issues there. He does the same thing on the other side and gets no issue.

“Alright, sweetheart, I’m going to listen to you breathe just a bit, alright? Can you sit up for me?” She nods before she’s moving herself to the side of the bed, her knees hanging over. He places his stethoscope on her back and listens to her breathing and hears rattling.

She coughs again and the sound gets worse.

“Alright, love. You’re going to be just fine. We’re gonna figure out what’s wrong and get you all fixed up.” She nods, and there are tears in her eyes, but she's so, so strong. "We're going to take you in for some x-rays to see what's wrong, alright?" He looks up to the other doctor in the room, just to make sure he's saying the right thing.

 

For once, he doesn't want to see a resemblance to his family in his patients.

He wants to throw up - wants to throw things around - wants to cradle this girl in his arms and make sure she knows that she's stronger than anyone should ever have to be at her age.

As he stares at the images lit up in front of him - the x-rays of the massive tumor on the right side of Annie's torso, he nearly throws up. There's a small puncture in her right lung from it, and suddenly it all makes sense why she was in such severe pain.

He asks his attending doctor if he needs to rush her into an emergency surgery, and for once, he doesn't even quiz him.

That's how he knows it's bad.

So as he watches the little girl in the room right in front of him get moved onto a seperate stretcher and gets run down the hall, into an operating room that he doesn't think an innocent child should ever have to see the inside of, he nearly breaks down.

He makes it to the on call room before he does, before he sits down on the bed meant for him to get a bit of sleep between patients on these long shifts and cries.

He's not sure if he's crying for Annie or for a mixture of things - for being so thankful that his family is wonderful, for being so thankful his life never had such horrible things, for the deep, body encompassing sadness he feels for Annie, for everything.

He doesn't know what he's feeling.

But he pulls himself together as fast as he can, and then he's back out on the floor.

  
  


He goes home immediately after his shift, and the second he gets there, he asks everyone to give him a hug.

"Why, what's going on? Is everything alright?" Lottie says, as he's squeezing the lot of them into a big, Tomlinson group hug. They don't do it nearly enough, and he realizes very suddenly that even as much as he loves his family, he still takes them for granted.

"I just had a rough day today and wanted to make sure you all know I love you a lot."

"We love you, too," gets parroted back to him from every single one of them, not at the same time, but in perfect chaotic differences in time.

He wouldn't change a single thing.

  
  


It's late on a Tuesday evening, another day where Louis is off between his twenty hour long shifts, when he and Harry find themselves on the couch.

Harry's in his lap, except instead of just cuddling, they've been kissing for nearly half an hour.

Harry's scent gets stronger by the minute, and it's even more noticable the more turned on the two of them get - a mixture of both of their scents filling the room around them.

He can just barely feel the hard outline of Harry's cock pressed against his stomach, only more noticeable when the omega ruts against him, just the slightest motion, but more than noticeable enough for Louis.

He's sly when he moves against Harry, meeting him as he moves his hips against his clothed skin and creates just a bit more of that contact he can tell Harry craves so desperately. It draws out a moan from the omega, barely a vibration from where their lips are still pressed together.

"How far do you want to go, Harry? Your boundaries are important to me," Louis finally says when he pulls away. His lips are raw from kissing, but it's a feeling he doesn't think he'll ever tire of, not with Harry.

"Don't talk. Kiss me again." He takes that as enough of an answer that he doesn't need to take it any further than that - so he's quick to kiss him, moving his arms all along his sides, down his torso, until a hand flicks over the hardened nub of a nipple through his shirt.

That draws out yet another moan from Harry, more audible than the first, and Louis does it again, moving two hands to his chest to rub his thumbs over both of his nipples.

"I want you to make love to me," Harry says, and Louis' heart nearly beats out of his chest. "I want that, so, so badly, but I'm not ready for you to see me naked yet."

"Alright, love. That's absolutely up to you," he says, placing a chaste kiss on Harry's cheek. "But you're beautiful to me. In every way."

"I never really did tell you what the outcome of that accident was," Harry says with a sigh. He's looking at the ground, a look on his face that reads like shame, and Louis wants to wipe it away and take it for himself. He never wants Harry to feel anything like that, never wants him to feel anything but perfect, just the same way Louis sees every part of him.

"No, and you don't have to if you don't want to, love," he says, running a hand down Harry's cheek again, before grabbing his chin ever so softly, just enough to get Harry to glance up and look at him. "If there are scars, if there's anything there that you don't think is beautiful, I want you to know that I do. I think every part of you is absolutely stunning and there's not a single thing in the world that could change that."

"I want to tell you. Because it's weird - and it's a bit gross looking, no matter what you say - and I want you to be prepared, is all."

"Alright."

"They didn't save my leg. Said it was too far gone, too damaged or something like that to be able to keep it. So, the entire bottom bit of it's gone." Louis' heart drops in his chest with a kind of guilt, wondering almost immediately if there's something he could have done differently to have made a different outcome for Harry, to have made something better for the doctors to have allowed them to do their jobs differently. "So. I wear a fake bit that lets me walk. But you haven't seen it yet when I take it off. It's ... it's really gross."

"There's nothing gross about that, Harry. It's incredible that you can walk and be yourself, still. There are so many people that would go through something hard like that and give up and say there's nothing they can do and throw in the towel on everything. But you didn't."

"Yeah, I s'pose you're right." He pauses for a moment, but the look on his face has gone. "Thank you, really, for being so amazing. Not sure what I did to deserve you."

"I'm pretty sure it's me that doesn't deserve you, actually. You've got it just a bit backwards." Harry laughs and Louis leans in to kiss his nose again. Maybe they won't have sex, or maybe they will; but he's fully ready to wait until Harry is ready, no matter how long it takes. So as they sit there with the film still playing in the background and Harry leans his head on him again, Louis is happy.

 

Harry makes dinner again, but Louis decides to help.

He's standing in the kitchen, watching as Harry's clearly experienced hands grab things and mix them together, almost in awe of it all.

He's got six pots of fresh herbs growing in his windowsill, all marked clearly what they are, even if Louis couldn't even describe what each of them would taste like in a dish. It's little things like that that always serve to make him remember exactly how thankful he, and all other alphas, need to be for omegas. Even if they're seen as something lesser to the government, to some of the knotheads that can't understand the blessings they have in front of them, he doesn't think the world would turn if there weren't omegas to make sure it kept going.

Even if it's something as simple as cooking, as cleaning, as making sure alphas don't forget things - they're all little ways they're built to nurture and to love, and it's amazing.

He'd spent years watching his mother cook, tried his best to take it all in and remember it all, but he never could remember it. Lottie had, but maybe it was just because he'd just watched and not copied her that he didn't remember any of it. But he's entirely determined not to be the kind of alpha to Harry that expects him to do every shred of the housework, so he wants to learn.

"Can you just cut those up for me, please? Small pieces, like, two centimeter cubes, ish," Harry says, gesturing to a pile of vegetables that are soaking in a pot of water.

"Yeah, sure." He's at least knowledgeable enough to know how to use a knife, so he's quick when he cuts up the pile of veggies and watches as Harry shoves them all into the same pot, along with a little dash of oil from a bottle on the windowsill that sits beside the potted herbs.

"So, what are we making, anyway?"

"Just a stir fry. Nothing too crazy. I'm using the leftover chicken from last night in it, so it's quick, too." As soon as he says that, he dumps the tub of chicken that they'd had the previous night - just now cut into little strips - into the pot and stirs it around with the vegetables.

Louis doesn't know what to say, so he kisses Harry's nose and stands behind him, his arms wrapped around the omega's waist as Harry keeps cooking.

He's watching, of course, but even if he knows he won't learn a single thing surrounded so closely by Harry's scent, he's happy.

"Will you stay over tonight?" Harry asks once they've each got a plate of food in their hands and the sun is falling down below the horizon. "You don't have to. I understand if you want to go home and be with your family, of course."

"I'd love to. They've had me for the last twenty five years, I'm sure they can survive a few nights without me every once and awhile."

Harry smiles.

 

When they crawl into bed together that night, Harry ends up taking the fake bit of his leg off, in front of Louis, for the first time.

There's a small white wrapping, almost like a sock, that he puts over the skin to keep it from chafing, but he peels that away, too. The scarring is bad, but Louis doesn't think it's ugly. Nowhere near it. He's more than glad that Harry was able to keep every part of his life going on around him, even if he lost something so important to some people. He doesn't comment on it, but instead just wraps his arms around Harry once they're in bed together.

It still almost feels odd, to be able to be in bed with an omega, he thinks, he can call his own, now, but being unsure about it all the same. "Good night, Harry."

"Good night, Louis."

Even if he's not sure what the future holds, even if he's not sure even what tomorrow will mean for the two of them, he's content. He's content to hold Harry in his arms and know he's going to sleep soundly beside the omega he's slowly beginning to fall in love with.  

 

Waking up the next morning is easy. Harry's still fast asleep, but Louis can't help but smile as he crawls out of bed silently and gets himself ready for his day.

He hadn't particularly missed getting up before the sun in the mornings, but sometimes he enjoys the serenity of it. The way the entire world is still fast asleep as he's already beginning his day. Working so early isn't his favorite thing in the world, but he's happy to be where he is, and he's content in every way he could ever ask to be, in this moment, at this time.

Harry stirs, almost like he'd realized the bed was empty beside him, but before long he's moving so his head is resting against the pillow Louis was using, as if he's taking that as a replacement for the loss of his scent. Louis can't help but find it more endearing than anything, and he smiles for a moment before he makes his way out of the room.

It's not until he's sat on Harry's couch, a cup of coffee in his hand, that he remembers the final thought he'd had the night before.

He's falling in love with Harry.

He's absolutely, undeniably falling in love with Harry.

The pace is so fast, so unrelenting, so desperate that he's almost shocked by the realization.

Of course, he'd realized the way Harry's presence was becoming so important in his life, like a necessary little addition to something he hadn't realized he was missing until he had it. But there's a thought there now - the thought that forever is going to sneak up on them and it wont' even feel like a moment has passed, because he can never have enough with Harry. He's not sure there will ever be enough, that there will ever be too much of the omega he's so rapidly falling head over heels in love with.

The next thought he has is something he never thought he would.

He's not even afraid that Harry doesn't love him back.

There's something so clear in both of their intentions, in both of their behaviors, in both of the ways they've changed to accomodate one another that makes it so, undeniably clear that they're both on the same page, thinking the same things, feeling the same emotions. And that, that's something he's not entirely sure how to handle. His heart feels full, he feels more content, fulfilled, and happy than he thinks he ever has. He never entirely could have realized what he was missing out on, not having an omega to love and cherish until this moment, until the moment he realized exactly how in love he is.

 

And really, there's not a single feeling in the world that could ever possibly compete with it.

 

+

  
  


"I'm in love with Harry," he says to Lottie over tea two weeks later. It's something he's fully accepted, taken as fact, if only for himself.

He hasn't told Harry, not just yet.

It's bound to happen and he's fully aware that it's going to happen very soon, but he also knows he needs to tell his family first. They haven't all formally met the omega just yet - and he's not entirely sure why he hasn't brought Harry over to meet them, but it's all meant to happen in due time.

They've been together formally for nearly four months, and the time had passed in such a smooth blur of happiness, content, and love (even if neither of them have said it) that it doesn't entirely feel real. Sometimes he has to force himself to remember that all of this is real, that it's his life, that he gets to live out this dream that he'd fabricated in his head for years, and now he just gets to watch it all unfold out in front of him, in the absolute best of ways.

There's not a single thing he could even imagine wanting to change about the life he's been given, that he's created, that his family and friends and Harry have all allowed him to create and thrive in. Even if there are only places to go on to from here, he's still more than happy, and he's ready to progress even further in his own happiness.

"You've been here an awful lot for someone who's found an omega he loves," Lottie teases, even if he knows fully well that she means it from a good place. After their mum had died, she'd had to move out of her Alpha's home to move back in with him and help him take care of the girls. She hadn't even needed to be asked - she just did it - and it's yet another one of the things he's so eternally grateful for. But he also knows that it hurts her, to be away from her alpha as much as she is. He comes over more often than not, and the two of them have tried time and time again to even get him to move in with them, but he's denied every time.

So, maybe he's doing a little bit of the same.

When - or even if - he's going to mate and bond Harry, he doesn't know. But being here, with his family, is something he knows he can't give up. He'll always have a home here, even if it's just part time. But for now, he needs to stay here as much as possible, so he's been forcing himself not to stay with Harry every single night, and as much as it almost causes him pain to be apart from him now, he knows it's best.

Alongside not being with his family every night, he knows there's some form of propriety to not being together every night, too. They're not meant to move in with each other - not without making that very clear when they're both ready for it - and he doesn't want to intrude on those little moments of privacy that Harry deserves when he's able to live on his own.

"I know. I'm not going to just leave you here to take care of the girls all by yourself, Lots. That's not your job."

"It's not yours either. I had my time to run away with Tommy and be on our own. We were able to stay together for weeks at a time without worrying about anything. You deserve that, too. Even if you think we would all burn the house down without you, I'm sure we could at least survive if you decided you wanted to stay with Harry for a while."

"Maybe I'll think about it," he says, taking a sip of his coffee.

Maybe she's right - he thinks - unable to stop himself. He hadn't taken much thought into it, mostly because the guilt of abandoning his family had always been far too much for him to handle. Leaving them behind for his own life was hard enough to do when he had to go to school every day, and it took more reminders than anything else in his entire life, especially in the first two years, that it was okay, that he was doing it to better all of them, and that he deserved to do something he loved.

Now, maybe, he just needs the same.

 

So, after work, he goes to Harry's house once again.

Louis cooks dinner.

It's nothing special, just something he'd paid extra attention to the week previous when Harry made it, but when Harry comes home to dinner made and sees the table set, candle and all, the brightest smile on his face is more worth it than anything he ever could have imagined.

Throughout the night, he'd only been more and more entranced by Harry, by how beautiful he looks, by the soft touches he'd place anywhere on Louis' body when they were within touching distance.

Even the mundane becomes beautiful when you're with the person you love, Louis thinks.

 

"Harry," Louis says once the night is nearly over.

The clock on the wall says it's just half nine, and it's nearly time for the two of them to crawl into bed once again, but Louis isn't ready. "I love you. I love you so, so much, and I want you to know that every day, from now on."

It's a sudden declaration - something Louis has been wanting to say for the entirety of the night, but as it slips out, he suddenly notices the way the room feels warmer around them.

"Haz, you okay?" He asks, before the scent hits him fully, suddenly surrounding the two of them in a bubble of Harry - everything is so suddenly Harry.

"I'm - I'm fine. God, I love you, I love you, I love you. But I'm - that definitely just triggered my heat."

Louis blinks.

“Oh,” he says, suddenly hyper aware as he gets up and moves away from Harry - from his omega. Every instinct in his body is telling him to go forward, to take care of Harry, to make sure he's loved and taken care of for the next three days that he'll need him. That he'll need his alpha.

But they haven't talk about it. Haven't talked about sex and what Harry would want or need from him in his heat - so he knows he shouldn't be here.

“Um,” Harry responds. His cheeks are already turning a deep, rosy red. “Um, I’m sorry. I just –“

“I’ll go. Feel free to call me whenever you’re feeling up to it.” Harry nods at that as Louis stands up and forces himself to walk out. He grabs his coat from where it’s draped over the chair in the kitchen, then walks out of the front door.

Harry doesn't tell him to stop, doesn't tell him to come back.

But the way he says his name - nearly a whine - has the hairs on the back of Louis' neck standing up.

He hadn't even known that something like that could set a heat off, could force such a natural reaction in an omega.

The thing is – though – that Louis is entirely, wholly intoxicated by Harry. Every single thing he does makes his head spin, makes him anticipate every single thing of what’s going to come next. He leans up against the brick of the house outside and takes a deep breath, trying his best to will away the half hard erection that’s calling for his attention already. Even just barely a moment with Harry in the beginnings of his heat has him this drawn in – he can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to actually be able to spend the time with Harry.

 

He walks away.

 

"Hi, Louis," Harry says on the other end of the phone, exactly four days later. Louis had missed him more than he could ever admit, even to himself, and he thinks it was only harder to be separated from him so shortly after they'd finally admitted they love each other. It was the worst time that the two of them could have been forced apart, but now that he's able to hear Harry's voice again, everything feels like it was never out of place.

"Hi, Harry," he echoes, smiling.

"How are you?"

"I'm good - just sitting around a bit before I need to get ready for work."

"What time do you go in today?"

"Two in the afternoon. I know it's only nine now - but it's still a little hard for me to get used to going in later."

"Mm, yeah. I can imagine. I don't think I'd be able to change after all these years of going to school right on time, either." His voice still sounds a little airy, like he's still at least a little out of it, but Louis doesn't comment on it, even if it's driving him crazy just on it's own. He can just imagine Harry still sitting half naked around the house, glowing from the haze that the heat has left on him. "I'm sorry, by the way, for the sudden... interruption of our night. I didn't - my heat wasn't supposed to start for over a week. But I remember reading in secondary school that sudden rushes of emotion can set them off. And I guess like - just. You made me so, so happy - telling me that? You know? I felt like I was going to cry or go crazy with it, so my body just took it in it's own direction."

Louis swallows hard at the new information he's given. He'd known that - he'd known there were certain things that could set off an omega's heat, and too much emotion all at once was one of the possibilities, but just hearing Harry say it - hearing the way he says it - it's nearly got tears welling up in Louis' eyes.

"I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to spend this one with me," Harry says, and the line goes so silent - enough that Louis almost would have thought Harry hung up on him if he couldn't hear the faintest little woosh of the ceiling fan in Harry's house. "But I didn't want to ask when it had already started - didn't want you to think that's the only reason I was asking, or something like that. So, I'll ask now. Maybe, if you want, do you want to spend my next heat with me?"

Louis is stunned silent.

He'd always assumed Harry would want to have sex with him first - in a coherent way - before he was able to see him so vulnerable, so needy. It's something he knows he needs to respond to, and he knows he needs to respond in a way that's kind, loving, and everything between the two, but the only thing he can think of is nothing. His mind is suddenly blank.

"Louis?" Harry asks after a moment, his voice suddenly filled with a lilt of nervousness.

"I'm here - sorry - I was just - unsure how to respond. I'll absolutely spend your heat with you. I'm so happy you trust me enough to do that."

"I love you," Harry says in response.

"And I love you."

  
  


There's no light in the room when Louis wakes up. It's early enough in the morning that the sun hasn't peaked above the horizon just yet, and the faintest glimmer of morning stars are clear from where he can see out of the window nearest their bed.

Their bed.

He'd never had that thought before - that this was something they shared together so often.

Even if it hasn't been discussed, even if it's something he know needs to be discussed, it's a fleeting thought for just a moment that brings him more joy than he's had in a long while. The thought of sharing a life, sharing his life, with Harry, and it all begins with the two of them cuddling beside one another in bed.

He wonders, briefly, how he's gotten to this point - how he's gotten so lucky to deserve something as brilliant as being able to call Harry his. It's still shocking, the thought that he can do that - that he can hold Harry's hand and kiss him and tell him he loves him without a doubt, without a fear, without anything but pure confidence and love.

And it's only solidified in moments like this, when the only sounds surrounding them are the soft breaths coming from Harry and the little rumble of the radiator that hasn't been replaced in at least twenty years. 

Waking up beside Harry in the mornings is still a feeling he can't describe, even after all the times he's done it. It brings him so much happiness, such a strong feeling of joy, that he can barely contain it.

But waking up beside Harry, pressed against him with a half hard cock against his back has this morning already on the top of his list of good mornings. Harry's scent always changes when he's turned on - changes from the just ever so slightly sweet scent he's come to love to something so much stronger, sweeter, even if that never seems possible.

Harry's breathing gets a little heavier when Louis leans back against him, heat already surrounding him with just the thought of Harry like this. There's nothing better.

Harry doesn't wake up right away, but Louis forces himself to stay still, forces himself to wait until he does, just to make sure he doesn't cross any boundaries.

He would never intentionally do something to hurt Harry - to bring him any kind of harm - and being that this isn't something they've talked about, he doesn't want to break an invisible wall down without permission.

So he waits.

It doesn't take long before Harry's little groan that he wakes with every morning is clear in the quiet of the room.

But then he's still.

"Good morning," Louis says, just loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to disrupt the quiet.

"This is embarrassing," Harry says, laughing sleepily.

"Were you dreaming of me?" Louis asks, a little smirk on his face. He doesn't think Harry is genuinely embarrassed, doesn't think he wants to flee, so he doesn't mind pushing on. Doesn't mind testing the limits until he gets told no.

"Um," Harry licks his lips when he talks, "I was. Yeah. Actually."

And that.

Well.

Louis hadn't been expecting that answer. It was what he'd hoped for, in every sense, but he hadn't expected it.

"What was I doing?" He asks, grabbing Harry's hand and running a thumb over the back of it in little circles, just gentle touches to remind himself this is real.

"Oh, god, Louis I'm already turned on."

"That's certainly not a bad thing, love." Louis' nearly half hard himself, stiff just from waking up to the feel of Harry pressing against him. "You don't have to tell me, but if you're comfortable... I'd like to hear it."

Harry swallows, and shifts again, to lay on his back. Louis' still got his hand in his own, but he stays on his side, propped up on an elbow to gauge Harry's reactions.

"Just - you were just touching me."

"Where?" Louis asks, Harry bites his lip.

"You were touching my nipples - got them hard until I was wet."

"Did you like that? Like me playing with your little nipples, baby?" Harry exhales, shaky now, and Louis wants to touch - he wants to touch so badly.

"God, yeah. They've always been so sensitive. Get myself off just like that, sometimes." Just hearing Harry talk about it is turning Louis on even more - has him envisioning that - Harry, sprawled out on his bed, naked and depriving himself of any kind of touch anywhere except his nipples, making them so oversensitive he comes all over himself.

"Is that all I did in your dream, love?" Harry's eyes are half closed, like he's trying to remember, but his scent is growing stronger, filling the room around them.

"No, no. After that you sucked me off, but - like - just barely. Like a tease and I was begging -"

"Can I touch you, Haz?"

"Fuck, yes, please alpha -"

That's the first time Harry's called him alpha - and it sparks something inside of him, sparks a kind of instinct he didn't even know he had.

He rubs a single finger around Harry's left nipple, until he's squirming, whining high in the back of his throat. His eyes are still closed, but now his mouth is just barely agape with the little, breathy moans coming out.

"Touch me, Louis, please," he begs, and Louis could tease - he could - but he doesn't want to. He wants to give Harry every single thing he wants, and if that's just getting him off in that moment, he's more than willing.

He places a kiss on Harry's neck - that intimate little spot where his bond mark will go one day - and Harry moans again.

He trailed kisses down his neck, to his torso where he kitten licks over one nipple, before continuing his trail down his stomach.

He's under the blanket, then, and as he pulls Harry's pants back, his cock springs out and slaps against his stomach. It's leaking just a bit at the tip, and his scent is heady and strong, and Louis feels like he could come already.

He wraps his mouth just around the head of Harry's cock, swirls his tongue around as he moves a hand down to wrap around the shaft, just barely moving it. His other hand on Harry's thigh, gripping the flesh there.

Not seeing Harry like this, not seeing his reactions but still being able to feel the tensing of his muscles keeps him going just as much, if not more. He can feel the muscles underneath the skin of his thighs flexing, can feel the way his legs are reflexively trying to close as Harry fights against the motion. The little moans the omega lets out above him sound like heaven.

He's subtle as he brings a finger to tease against his hole, wet and dripping on the sheets beneath them already. "Oh, god, Louis, please," Harry begs, his fingers in Louis' hair tightening against the teasing little motion.

He presses himself flush against Harry's taint, his cock against the back of his throat as he swallows right as he presses his pointer finger inside of him.

Harry comes, his body shaking with it and going tense. His scent is strongest here, and just that alone nearly pushes Louis over the edge, but he ruts against the bed as he works Harry through his orgasm until he comes, too, knot only half expanding with the scent but without being inside of him.

He crawls back to the top of the bed, and Harry is laying back against the pillows with his eyes half hooded, a smile on his face. Louis kisses him and Harry doesn't even complain that he'd just sucked him off.

He thinks he's found his soul mate.

"I love you," Harry says, moving down to just rest his head against Louis' bare chest. Looking down at him, at the way the soft locks of brown hair fall right against his pale skin, he doesn't even need to be reminded, to be reassured, anymore, that Harry loves him. It's just yet another thing in his life that he can call a certainty.

They aren't children, they aren't young enough to play with each other's hearts anymore. There's not enough time for them to waste on worrying about something like that. So, as he runs his fingers through the soft fringe of Harry's hair until the omega falls fast asleep on top of him, he's perfectly happy, perfectly reassured that this scene will play out again and again throughout the rest of his life, with Harry at his side. There's not a doubt in his mind.

Even if he's sticky with his own come on his thighs and he knows they'll need to clean the sheets once the sun comes the rest of the way up, he wouldn't change a single thing.

  
  


It's nearly the last day of school, now.

He's still managed to take the girls to school almost every day, and today's no different, but a selfish little piece of him almost can't wait until he has Harry all to himself (or - as much as Harry is willing to give him) for nearly three entire months.

But even though they'd managed to be together this long, he'd never driven Harry to work on his way to get the girls, until today.

The lot of them hadn't officially met just yet, other than Phoebe, and he's almost worried it's just a bit of a cop-out on how to introduce them, but Harry seems to love the idea. So the two of them get into Louis' car as he drives down the motorway to his own house and pulls up front exactly seven minutes before the girls have to be out of the door or they'll be late. Harry had said he didn't need to be at school early, but that he just liked to be there instead of sitting at home doing nothing, so taking him to school with just enough time to spare doesn't make him feel any kind of guilt.

The girls come out to the car three minutes later, and Louis pretends not to see their shocked expressions.

All three of them climb into the back of the car and it's completely silent for just a moment before Phoebe speaks first. Louis hadn't expected her to speak first, but when she does, Harry smiles, and Louis does, too.

"Hi, Mr. Styles," is all she says, but that seems to open the gate to all the questions and excitement from the other two.

"So you're the infamous Harry?" Félicité asks, a smile on her face that Louis can see from his rear view window. She doesn't look bitter or angry or sad, but she looks really fond. Happy. That's what he wants to see - he wants his family to be happy, even if he had to give everything up to make  sure that would happen. So, seeing her happy when he is, too, is even better. "It's lovely to finally meet you. I'm Félicité."

"Lovely to meet you, too," Harry says with a smile, turning a bit to awkwardly shake her hand. It makes Louis laugh just a bit as he drives, but he can't stop smiling. He'd worried about this moment for quite some time - that maybe, for some unfathomable reason, the girls wouldn't like Harry. That it would be awkward. That Harry would be put off by the constant chaos that takes place in his family.

But Harry seems right at home, too. He fits in easily with the lot of them and doesn't even seem like he's worried about it. That, Louis thinks, was the best case scenario, and as it plays out in front of him, he can't imagine being any happier.

 

+

 

When Louis was six, his mum got him a cat.

It was a birthday present, the day before Christmas as always, and he could still see the three or four presents that were stacked underneath the tree for him to open the next day. Pepper was lovely, an older cat that was always in need of cuddles. She was soft and kind and she let him cuddle her as long as he wanted before she would trot off and go lay on the sofa.

She'd been on her second alpha, then, and he was always nice to her and to Louis and everything felt good, always. The three of them were a perfect little family, as his mum used to say to him every night, and he was a genuinely happy little kid. Sometimes he still wondered where his own dad had gone, wondered if he'd ever come back from when he'd stormed out two years previous, but those thoughts had gotten less and less frequent as he got older.

Life was as perfect as it could get.

He was almost never bored and never sad, and with his new best friend he felt like he could rule the world.

He'd called the cat Pepper, because she was orange and looked a little bit like an orange pepper that he'd had for dinner the night before. There was snow on the ground, completely coating the entire ground around the house, and he sat with Pepper on his lap near the fireplace as he read a book.

And that's when the yelling started.

"You are not!" He heard his mum's alpha yelling from upstairs. There was slamming. Pepper had run off of his lap.

And for the second time, he had to watch an alpha walk out of he and his mum's lives.

His mum said she knew he didn't want pups, that just Louis was enough for him, and when she'd gotten pregnant anyway that she didn't know what to do. She cried and he could hear her talking to her own mum on the phone. Louis didn't understand it, not all of it, but the parts that he did understand only made him angry.

He wanted to run outside after Mark and tell him that he was awful, that he made his mum cry and that she didn't deserve to cry because she was the most perfect person in his entire life. He told her that when she got off the phone, anyway. He always told her he loved her, but he wanted to make sure she knew she was the perfect mum, too.

He didn't know, then, if he would present as an alpha or not, but there were a lot of things that made him feel like he would. He always assumed he would. And it was from that day on, when he had to watch his mother cry over yet another man they'd both thought would be around forever, that he promised himself he would never do that to an omega. To anyone.

 

+

 

Another two months pass by  in a flurry of bliss as Louis is surrounded by the happiness Harry brings him.

Before he's entirely realized it, he's nearly half way through his intern year at the hospital, nearly half way through the first year that he's still the baby at work, still unsure, still having to ask questions and get the approval of those around him. Harry is still as supportive as ever, and even after being with him more often than not over the last six months, he's undeniably still more in love and happier than he's ever been in his entire life.

While he hadn't taken everything Lottie said to heart - hadn't entirely abandoned his family to spend more time with Harry - he was certainly spending more time with him than he had been before, and it was making both of them closer to one another than he ever thought was entirely possible.

He knows how Harry takes his tea in the morning, knows that it's the polar opposite of how he takes his coffee. He knows that Harry's favorite breakfast is pancakes with both raspberries and blueberries mixed inside, with sugar-free maple syrup drizzled on top. He knows that Harry doesn't snore, but he talks in his sleep sometimes, reciting poems and little lines from books that he claims he hasn't read since university.

Over the six months that he's been alongside Harry, he's learned more about the omega than he ever thought possible to learn about another person.

They tell each other how much they love each other every day, followed up with kisses and hugs and gentle touches that Harry has slowly grown more comfortable with. Sometimes, he even lounges around on the weekends with just shorts on, letting Louis see every part of him that he knows the other man is insecure about. It's something he's never taken for granted, but he appreciates it more than he could ever describe.  

Harry comes to the hospital again, but this time it's right before he's going to get off. He's dressed in a

soft pink little sweater, but he still looks beautiful as ever. Louis has vomit on his scrubs and probably a little in his hair, too, but he knows Harry doesn't mind. There have already been far too many times that Harry has done laundry for him that's been in much worse shape.

"Sorry, love, probably not best to give you a hug right now. But it's good to see you, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, of course. I just missed you. Wanted to come see you. Wasn't entirely sure what time you got off."

"Oh, in about ten minutes, actually. I'm only working a single shift tonight. Do you want to go down to the cafeteria and eat a late dinner together?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

So, they do.

Louis changes out of his smelly scrubs and back into the clothes he'd come to work in before he meets Harry in the lobby. They walk, hand in hand, to the end of the hall where the cafeteria is and Harry hums softly as they walk, swinging their hands just a bit as they go. It's relaxing, just being in Harry's presence.

He'd discovered that only a few weeks into courting him, but it still holds true now.

"I'm going to go home this weekend," is what Harry says when they're both sat down at a table in the completely empty cafeteria. There's always food left out in the refrigerators and on the warmers for family members and for doctors who find themselves here at inconvenient moments, though. "And I was wondering if you'd like to come with me. Meet my parents and my sister."

Louis isn't even surprised by the question.

"I would love to come meet your family, love. They're in Cheshire, right? So not too far of a drive."

"No, not far at all. It's only for one night, so if you're off you won't even have to ask for the day off. It's just my mum's birthday and I told her I was coming,"

"Yeah, I'm off both days this weekend, actually. So I'll absolutely come."

Really, he'd just been waiting for when it would come. He's not sure why it took so long for Harry to ask, but he knows that everyone does things on their own timeline, their own way, with no need for pressure from anyone else. So he was happy to wait until he was comfortable.

But he knows the only step to go after this is to ask Harry to bond him. To mate. To marry. To finally seal their relationship as something that's going to be forever.

It doesn't have to happen any time soon, and he really doubts it will, but he's ecstatic to know that that's going to be the next chapter in their lives. That that's the only thing that could come next if things stay as LouisandHarry.

He can't wait.

 

+

 

There are some nights that Louis still finds himself waking in a cold sweat, anxiety thrumming through his veins as he thinks back to the one day in his life he never wants to relive. Even as his room is bathed completely in darkness, the open window allowing for a bit of the mid summer air to float easily through the window, he feels cold, empty.

It's always this time of year that he remembers it, that the waves of what he tries to keep from the forefront of his mind come washing back, drowning him in the process.

Most of the memories he holds of his family take place in winter.

It's an odd season to find so much love and adoration in, but he's always been comforted by the cold, by the chill, and by the happiness that his memories had once brought him in that season. He remembers ice skating with his mum, with her alpha, with Lottie. He remembers sitting by the fireplace with the twins on his lap when they were just born and singing to them softly, or reading them one of the dozens of children's books that his mum would bring home from the library she worked at when they were too damaged to keep getting sent out.

It's the one memory he wishes every single day to wipe from his brain forever, yet it's also the one that never seems to leave him behind, always seems to be stuck, haunting.

 

He'd been sitting in the passenger's side of the car, the music playing lowly, surrounding him and his mum. She was singing along, softly, her voice just barely noticeable over the low voice of the man on the radio. Louis sings along to the chorus, making his mum look over and smile. Louis is smiling, like always, happier than ever to have her.

She'd picked him up from university for break, to bring him home and celebrate his birthday and Christmas. It was only his first year of university, and he'd decided to study maths, with the hope to become some kind of scientist, to help people get out into space one day. His mum never fully understood it, but she was always supportive.

Always so supportive.

"How's school been for you this term so far? I know we don't talk much about school when we chat on the phone, but I'm curious. Is it hard?"

"Yeah, it's kind of hard. But it's interesting. Math is interesting, I guess."

"I never quite did understand that. Guess your brain is just wired to be a bit smarter than me." She laughs when she says it, and Louis laughs, too.

"Have you found an omega that's caught your interest?"

"No, not just yet. I haven't really been looking, though. I wish I had time, but sometimes I just feel like I don't."

"Ah, that's alright, love. It'll come in due time. You can't rush it. You're a lovely soul and you'll get someone wonderful just because of that." He loved when she said that. When others had mentioned him not being mated or courting, they always said it with malice. But when his mum had said it, she always said it with love, with a kind of certainty that Louis only wished he possessed.

The car had jerked very suddenly, the movement had thrown Louis' head against the glass on his side of the window. Black spots had danced over his vision and the slight feeling of nausea passed through him, before he felt something warm and wet dripping down his cheek.

When he reached up to touch it, it was blood.

The car had swerved off of the side of the road, into oncoming traffic.

"Mum!" He'd shouted, just once, before a second car slammed into her side of the car, and then everything was spinning.

There was more blood on him, suddenly, but it wasn't his own.

It had almost felt like he wasn't in his own body, like he couldn't feel the pain, couldn't see all of the damage that was surrounding him. He felt numb, cold.

When he came to, he was laying outside of the car, on the winter-dead grass beside the road. The snow was stained red with his own blood, and there was someone standing above him. "Sir?" was all he heard before everything went dark.

 

When he'd woken up, he was in a hospital bed, in a room, alone.

Alone.

His head hurt worse than anything ever had in his entire life, and he had a cast on his right arm.

There was still snow falling outside, and from the window in his room, all alone, he could see the stars in the sky through a break in the clouds.

A doctor had walked in then, and sat on the edge of his bed. Louis hadn't known what that meant, back then. Hadn't been able to read the sorrowful expression on his face. Hadn't been able to so much as predict what he was going to be told.

"Louis, I'm so, so sorry," is how he'd started it. He wasn't - was what Louis'd thought back then. There was no way this stranger was sorry for his mum's death. There was no way he could possibly know the loss that the world had taken when she took her final breath. There was no way he could know the loss he had taken.

"No," is what he'd said. "No. She's just in the next room over. I know it."

"I'm so sorry," the doctor repeated. "She didn't make it out of the car,"

Louis had cried for the first time since he presented that day. He'd cried harder than he ever thought he could. Cried until he was certain his body wouldn't be able to make anymore tears. He felt so, entirely alone in the world without his mum in that moment, and knowing he wouldn't ever get to tell her that, wouldn't ever get to tell her he loved her ever again, wouldn't ever get to make her breakfast or help her hang up another Christmas ornament on the tree, he couldn't handle it.

The doctor sat there with him until he cried himself to sleep.

He wished it was him.

 

He's crying before he realizes it, small tears leaking out of the sides of his eyes. "Lou?" Harry asks from beside him. "Lou, can you hear me, are you okay?" He thinks he'd heard Harry calling his name, but had been so caught up in his thoughts that he couldn't absorb the words, couldn't find the energy inside of himself to react.

"Sorry," he finally says, reaching up to wipe the tears away from his face. "I'm sorry. This isn't - I shouldn't be crying. You can go back to sleep." His heart feels heavy in his chest, like it's weighing him down. His stomach is twisted and it feels like he could throw up. The tips of his fingers are numb, cold like they'd been that day when he was laying in the snow.

"Louis, no. Stop. Don't be sorry. What's wrong?" He sniffles again. Harry is holding him and in that moment it feels like the only thing keeping him grounded.

"I just. Dreamt about my mum." Harry pauses.

Louis had never talked about his mum. Not once. He rarely did to anyone - just because he couldn't handle it. He'd always known this would be the outcome. The memories. The feelings. All of the emotions piling back up on him as if the accident had just happened yesterday.

"Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to."

"I was there, the day she died. I was in the car with her." A few more tears roll down his face. "It just. Sometimes plays over and over again in my head. The scene. Watching her die."

"Oh, Louis. I'm so so sorry." He holds Harry tightly as he cries, but the sobs die down before long. He'd never understood the need for being held, for having those roles switched.

"I love you," he says, "I love you, I love you."

He feels like he needs to say it.

Because sometimes he worries it will be the last.

+

 

He and Harry go for a drive.

They've decided to drive to Brighton, to walk along the pier, eat the food there, and sit on the hard rocks of the beach. He's not entirely sure why they've decided on Brighton, but the beach brings back memories of summer days of his childhood, when he found one pence coins on the road or his mum would fill his palms with them and he'd buy all the candy he could.

Most of the time when he came back from Brighton, he'd have a sore stomach and a smile on his face that matched Lottie’s.

They were younger then, but he doesn't think the novelty has worn off.

So as they find a place to park and walk along the wood-paved path, Harry holds his hand. Their hands swing back and forth gently between the two of them as they walk, the motion soothing and soft. "What should we get first?" He asks, looking at the little booths that line the entirety of the boardwalk and the pier. There's a chippy sitting at the far end, with signs boasting that everything they serve is fresh, caught that day.

There's a little crepe booth, too, and ice cream right beside it.

A small arcade is on the opposite site, with a merry go round beside it and a ferris wheel, too. Louis almost thinks it could be romantic if they went atop, before he remembers exactly how petrified of heights he's always been.

Harry's got a big, beach bag slung over his arm with a blanket inside as well as a thermos of hot water for them to make up some tea as they sit on the beach. He looks almost silly with it, the bag covering the entirety of his torso, but Louis still loves him, thinks he looks just as good as always.

"Ice cream sounds nice," is Harry's reply. Exactly what Louis was thinking.

So that's what they get.

Mint chocolate chip is what they decide on, before they walk down the steps to the beach and claim their spot. They sit far enough from the water that the icy waves can't touch them until high tide, and lay back. 

It's a cloudless day for the first time in a long while, and the sun is shining bright on them.

They sit on the rocky beach for hours, ice cream long forgotten and the remnants melted in the tin by the heat of the sun.

Louis tells Harry some of the stories of coming here when he was young, and Harry does the same.

He wonders, just for a moment, if they've met here before. If they've seen each other in a fleeting moment of passing and took no note. But maybe they had, maybe that was the world's way of telling them they were always meant to be. Even just in a fleeting moment, that was when the world knew they were two souls, the left over of one torn in two.

That's the only way he can think of Harry anymore. A part of him, a piece he doesn't think he could ever go without.  A piece he absolutely never wants to go without.

 

+

 

When Louis wakes up, Harry's side of the bed is empty.

With summer holidays in full swing, he'd gotten used to waking up with Harry right beside him, gotten used to being able to just lean over and place a little kiss right on his omega's forehead and wait for him to come to full consciousness with a little groan. It had slowly become his favorite part of the mornings that they spent together, of the nights they shared beside one another.

But when he reaches over and feels the mattress, it's still just barely warm, so he thinks Harry has only just woken up.

He decides to follow.

So, he slips on a pair of slippers, only wearing those and his pants that he'd worn to bed the night before. When he gets out into the kitchen, Harry's sat at the dining room table, but he looks like he's barely slept. "Hey, good morning, love," Louis says, smiling.

Harry looks at him, but he isn't returning the smile, doesn't really have any kind of expression on his face. It's completely different from the Harry that Louis has grown used to, and it makes his stomach twist. It's sudden how he feels almost vulnerable, like he doesn't know what to expect. The smile falls from his face and his eyebrows furrow. "Are you okay?"

"I just," Harry starts, sighing, shaking his head. "Are we on the same page, Louis? Because... I've thought we were. This entire time I thought we were. But now I'm starting to think we aren't."

"What?" It's too early in the morning for Louis' brain to process the words right away - and it takes a moment for all of them to set in, for him to really hear exactly what it is that Harry is saying. His heart nearly feels like it sinks to his chest as a flurry of panic swirls around inside of him. "I - of course we're on the same page. I thought. I'm - I really don't know what you're talking about, Haz. I'm sorry."

He doesn't.

He doesn't have a single clue what he did that's made Harry angry, but all he wants is to fix it, to do whatever it is that he needs to do to fix what he's done.

"It's been eight months, now, that we've been together."

"Yeah," Louis says, preparing himself for the worst. His mind always seems to dive headfirst into the very worst possible way a situation could play out, so he takes a small step back - away from the metaphorical blow he knows he's going to receive.

"Yeah." Harry says. "And you haven't -" Harry sighs again, and that's when Louis sees that his eyes are red like he's been crying. "Do you want to mate me one day, Louis? Do you want to make a life with me? Because I've never heard of someone waiting this long to ask and I'm just. If this is some kind of... of thing for you to do just to pass the time, to keep yourself busy before you go and look for the omega you actually want to mate, just tell me. Because I've been under the impression that you love me, that you want a life with me, all along, but... Now I'm getting second thoughts."

And that.

That wasn't what Louis thought he was going to hear at all.

He nearly has to breathe out a sigh of relief. He'd been almost certain Harry was going to end it - was going to tell him that everything was done and to get out, get out of the house, get out of Harry's life, to go and never come back. That was the worst case scenario, but now that he knows that's not what's happening, that Harry's sad because he hasn't asked him to mate - it makes everything better. He knows Harry's upset, and he knows good and well that he'll do everything he can in his ability to make him feel better, to reassure him.

But the relief is still there.

"Harry, my love," he says as he sits down on the chair right beside Harry, then scoots closer, a hand on the bare skin of his thigh. "I have every intention I could ever possibly have to mate you. I want a life with you. Pups. A house of our own. A life together. There's so much I want and so much I've wanted for months now. I just - right now doesn't feel like a good time." Harry's looking at him. His eyes are still red with the unshed tears, but he doesn't look quite so sad. "It's not your fault in any way that it doesn't feel like the right time. It's no one's fault. I just - I'm still taking care of my family right now, and I know that's something that's never going to go away, but until I feel that everything is okay with them - I can't leave them behind."

He can't.

"And I know that after we bond," he reaches a hand up, pressing a finger gently against Harry's bonding spot, "That I won't be able to leave my beautiful, lovely omega's side for weeks. Months, maybe. I'll never want to sleep a night without you, never want to be more than a work shift away from seeing you, and that's just not something I can do when I know they need me right now."

Harry is silent for a moment, to the point that Louis worries he's said something wrong all over again. He'd thought he said the right thing, thought he conveyed his thoughts the exact way he needed to, but the silence is heavy, thick and uncomfortable.

"God," Harry finally says, sniffling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Of course. You're so right. I'm. I'm just." He shakes his head. Louis frowns.

"What brought all this on?"

"A friend of mine just mentioned that it was odd that Liam and Zayn mated already and you haven't even so much as brought it up. They said it just as a passing comment and I definitely don't think she meant it to hurt me the way it did, but after she said it I just couldn't stop thinking about it."

"Oh, Harry. No. Liam and Zayn... I support them to the end of the earth, but they're in a different place than we are. And that's okay. I'm not even fully situated in my career. Things could change so quick, everything could be different tomorrow and that's just something I have to deal with, and it's not something I would ever want you to be stuck with."

"Never stuck," Harry says. "Never stuck with you. Everywhere you go I'll follow, always."

Louis smiles.

"You make this," he motions all around him, "All of this, feel like home. Instead of just a place. It's home when you're here."

Louis begins to wonder how he could have survived without Harry.

 

+

 

From then on, Louis can't stop thinking about it.

Weeks go by.

Nurses at work ask him if his mind is wandering, if he's alright, if he's sleeping enough because of how spacey he is between patients. But the only thing he's thinking about is Harry, is how there is absolutely no way he could ever be without him, and how he hates that there are things keeping them apart.

He doesn't resent his family. He doesn't feel an ounce of anger towards them for any of this. None of them asked for any of this to happen, and now that they're left to deal with the aftermath of it all, sometimes it doesn't feel like it's fair. Because it isn't. There isn't a single thing about any of it that's fair to him, to Lottie, to the twins, to Harry, to anyone. The world was affected in so many ways the day his mum died, and he thinks about it far more often than he would like to.

There are days he wonders how the world kept spinning after she died. How anything could have ever possibly kept going on when the world just lost one of the kindest, most generous omegas that had ever blessed the earth. He'd been angry for so long. Angry at the world for taking her from him. Angry at himself for surviving when she didn't. Angry at everything that he could possibly place even just the slightest bit of blame on, because he couldn't handle the pain of it.

But now, he doesn't know how to deal with any of this and the only person he wants to turn to, to ask advice from is his mum, and he can't.

He doesn't know what to do.

He knows he can't leave the twins entirely with Lottie. Knows she has her own life to get on with just like he does, but maybe they'll figure out a way to make it all work out. He knows they will. There's no maybe - there's no perhaps. They always find a way to make things work, but for the first time in his life he wants to be selfish. He wants to be able to mate Harry and not have to worry about anything else.

He knows he won't act on it, but the urge is so strong that he almost can't fight it.

He knows he'll bond Harry within the year, if he's still willing. He knows good and well that he wants pups within five years and he knows Harry does, too. He knows he can't keep putting his life on hold, but even more so he knows he can't keep Harry's life on hold.

It's a conversation he knows he'll have to have with Lottie eventually, but even just thinking about it has his stomach in knots, has his guilt flaring up.

He doesn't know what to do, but whatever he does, he knows it'll have to be the best for everyone. For himself, for his family, for Harry.

 

+

 

He takes a long walk before he heads home after his shift ends at the hospital.

The air around him is warm long after the sun has set, and the moon above him is full. He can't explain the emotions running through his head and he certainly can't explain the full feeling he has in his heart. He loves Harry. He loves him more than anything, but these are the moments where he has to remember that he could never be what the alphas were to his mum - leaving because they couldn't handle it, leaving because they had prior commitments that they left unresolved, leaving for any reason. He could never do that to Harry, could never break that promise to himself.

And maybe that's the reason that this hurts so deeply. He loves Harry. He wants to do what's absolutely best for him, and perhaps that can only be done without him in the omega's life.

He's overthinking, letting his mind run chaos inside of his head, but these are the nights where he can't stop it.

There's still vomit on his shoes from when a girl had thrown up on him earlier, but that's the least of his worries. He worries about thrusting Harry head first into a family he can't say he's ready for, he can't force Harry into a situation he didn't ask for, can't force Lottie to pick up the slack he will only certainly give when he runs off with Harry.

He can't be the alpha that walks out on his own family like his mum's alphas were, even if it's in an entirely different context.

Except the worst part is, he doesn't even know what Harry wants. He knows Harry wants him to bond him, knows he wants to be together forever, but he doesn't have it in himself to ask if he's ready to adopt a family and help him raise them, together. He doesn't have it in him to be told no, and he doesn't know how he'd react if Harry were to say yes. It's all overwhelming, and as he walks, he tries his best to keep the thoughts out of his mind, to try and think about anything else that doesn't make him feel this way.

His head is sore, his heart is heavy, and he doesn't know what to think.

But the worst part is, he knows he has to make sure everyone else would be okay with what he's thinking about doing before he were to do it. There's nothing he can think of that he puts himself first for. It's always his family. Always work. And recently, always Harry.

Always.

 

+

 

It was a warm summer day when Charlotte Tomlinson was brought into the world.

Louis was young. He'd turned seven just a few months prior and he still couldn't fully grasp the concept that his mum had managed to create an entire new being inside of her.  

He remembers sitting in the lobby at the hospital and a nurse bringing him a glass of water after so many hours that he was nearly falling asleep in the chair. He remembers a doctor coming out to get him hours and hours past his bedtime and telling him he could come back into the room his mum was in.

And there she was.

She was so, so tiny and he was so, incredibly protective of her from that first moment.

That's all it took, was one moment.

One moment to know that he was never going to come first, ever again. There would always be someone else to take care of, someone else to make sure was alright before he so much as put a passing thought into his own well being. He got to hold her that night, and those thoughts were only amplified.

It was then that he was almost certain he was going to present as an alpha, if for nothing else to take care of everyone around him.

"It's just us, kiddo. The three of us against the world," his mother had said, running her fingers through his hair as he held onto Lottie tightly.

"I love you, mum," he'd said, smiling. "And I love you, Charlotte."

"She doesn't know it yet, but she loves you too."

He already knew.

 

+

 

When he gets home from his walk, a light is still on in the kitchen. He takes the vomit shoes off at the door, followed by the light jacket he's always taken to wearing, before he goes to the source of the light. Lottie is there, a kettle on the stove behind her as she flips through a book.

"Hi, Lots," he says, grabbing a loaf of bread as he starts to make himself a sandwich.

"Hey, Lou. Sorry, I thought you were supposed to be home a while ago. I got worried and stayed up. Had to make sure you got home."

His heart aches again.

"I just took a walk. Had to clear my head a bit."

"Why? What's going on?" She asks, and Louis isn't sure if he's entirely ready to talk about it, to expose all of his insecurities so fully. Even if he knows he has to, knows that it's so, so important for them to talk about these things, he doesn't want to. "You don't have to tell me, but I know you'll feel better if you do."

"Yeah, you're right," he says, pouring two cups of water from the kettle once it starts steaming. He gets two bags into the cups, sets one down in front of his sister, and then sits beside her. "Do you hate this? Do you ever wish you could just leave with Tommy and never come back?" Lottie looks at him, a frown on her face.

"No, never. Of course it's not exactly how I thought I'd be spending my life at nineteen, but there's nothing else I'd rather be doing, Lou. This is my life. You all are my life and I'm absolutely fine with that. Tommy is fine with it. It's just how it is." She pauses, her hands grasping the tea cup as she gazes down, before she looks at him again. "Do you?"

"No," he says finally, exhaling. "No, of course I don't. I feel the same. But sometimes I feel like I've dumped all this on you and you never asked for it. Never wanted any of this."

"You didn't ask for this either. None of us did. Mum certainly didn't predict this outcome. None of us are pretending this is ideal or wonderful or exactly what we always wanted. We just have to deal with what's happened and create the best outcome we can." Sometimes he wonders how his sister is so much wiser than he is. "And I know you think this is such a massive burden on me, but it's not. I am an omega, Louis. My nature is to nurture and that's what I do best. That's what I'll always do for you, even if you're older, and for the kids, too." She takes a drink of her tea, then, pausing again.

But just the mention of their mother nearly has him crying, blinking a few times to rid of the moisture gathering in his eyes. He's still not over it, and he knows he probably never will be, and that's alright. He knows it's fine. Knows that's just a part of life and that everything that Lottie is saying - about dealing with the aftermath and creating the best outcome that they possibly can create - is all they can do. It's all they can manage and that's more than enough.

"You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better," Louis says with a smile, a dry laugh.

"Are you thinking about mating Harry?" It never fails to catch him off guard exactly how perceptive, how intelligent his sister has grown up to be.

"Yeah."

"So you wanted to make sure I didn't absolutely loathe my life of helping you take care of the girls, because you want to mate him." She's quirking an eyebrow, but she still has a fond smile on her face. Louis sighs, but he suddenly feels like he's been caught in an act, caught doing something that he didn't particularly want anyone to know.  

"Yeah."

"Louis, I've said it before, and this is the last time I'm going to say it." He nods. "I don't want you to put all of us before you. I want you to prioritize yourself, at least sometimes. You didn't cause this, either. None of us did. Félicité is going to be an adult soon and then she'll be able to help me out, too. Maybe she'll go to university and live the life that we both want her to. We're doing our best, you're doing your best. We're all managing and that's all that matters." She pauses and he has to take a moment to take it all in. Sometimes he can't help but feel like the younger sibling, like the one scrambling and unsure of what he's supposed to do in times like this. He doesn't have a clue what he's expected to do, and it's almost unfair that it seems like Lottie does, like she has everything figured out, like she knows exactly what to say at exactly the right time. "If you go and mate Harry, he'll be able to help us out too, if he wants. I know you two will disappear for a while, go be together for a few months just the two of you just like Tommy and I did. But I know you feel like you're personally responsible for the lot of us, but you're not. It's not all you, Lou. It's all of us. It's a collective effort."

He swallows hard.

"Thank you, Lottie."

  
  


+

 

It's sunset.

The two of them had walked out into a field outside of town after a dinner party Louis was invited to from colleagues. They were celebrating the transition from intern to resident, the promotion he'd long since needed in his life. It also marked just over a year that he and Harry had been together, and it was finally time. The two of them set down a blanket over the brittle, half dead grass, then laid down and decided to stay until they could see the stars.

They'd brought a mostly finished bottle of champagne with them, just in case they decided to drink it, but even after Louis had poured it, they didn't bother.

Their glasses of champagne are barely touched and he can't stop playing with the little ring box in his pocket. It suddenly feels like it weighs fifty kilos, like he can't ignore it even if he tries. Harry looks stunning, the black of the suit he's wearing unbuttoned just at the top, revealing the gold cross necklace he always wears. His lips are still more pink than usual from how hard Louis had kissed him before they left for their night out, and he's beautiful.

Louis is so, so in love with him.

"Harry?" He finally asks.

Bright oranges and pinks illuminate the sky above them. The green of Harry's eyes sparkle under the dimming light.

"Yeah?" He finally responds.

It's not the plan Louis had had all along. He hadn't fully intended to ask Harry to mate him while they laid in a field, wearing too expensive suits to be laying on the ground, but it feels like the perfect moment. The moment he'd been waiting to feel all along, to decide to make his move.

"Would you like to bond with me? Be my omega forever?"

The question seems to hang in the air, just for a moment, as Louis digs out the ring. It's not quite as extravagant as their wedding ring will be - silver instead of gold with a ruby instead of a diamond as tradition tells - but as he shows it to Harry, tears well up in his omega's eyes.

"Yes, oh, Louis, yes of course I would. I would love to be your omega, and have you as my alpha."

He slips the ring on Harry's middle finger, right where it belongs, and his heart swells.

They kiss again, surrounded only in each other, and the world finally, finally seems to stop spinning.

 

+

 

They don't mate right away.

It's not something either of them needed to do that night, or even the next, or even a month after Harry asked Louis to be his forever. It's something that is with them at all times, now, as they go and as they spend their days beside one another in a perfect pair.

The first time Harry comes to spend the night at Louis' house, it's not as much as a storm of chaos as he'd entirely expected, but there's still much more havoc than he's used to with his nights with Harry. The girls bicker loudly from the kitchen while they sit together in the sitting room, Harry's head in his lap as Louis runs his fingers through his hair.

It's a position they'd started doing only recently, but mostly when Louis learned exactly how much Harry loves getting his hair played with. He can lay like that for hours, just the two of them encompassed fully in their own little world as Louis plays with his hair. Sometimes Harry falls asleep on his lap like that and Louis eventually nods off, too. Other nights they stay like that until Harry crawls in his lap and falls asleep and on other nights they head to bed together, still wrapped up in one another in the best possible way.

Tonight, Harry looks like he might fall asleep and Louis is still so very fond of him.

He's still got his bonding ring on, and Louis knows good and well that there will be a mark on his neck sooner rather than later, but even without the mark there, without the physical permanence, he feels hope for the future.

"Hey, Louis?" Harry asks, tilting his head back just a little more than he had before. There's a dimpled smile on his face that Louis wants to see every day for the rest of his life. There isn't a sight in the world that he can imagine wanting to see over Harry's smile.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

He doesn't doubt it, not even for a moment.

"And I love you," he says before he pauses a moment. "Come to bed with me. The girls are distracted, I think it's safe to escape." That draws a little laugh out of Harry, another smile on his face before he opens his eyes and sits up.

It's still the first time that Harry's staying the night at his house and he's not entirely sure how all of this already feels so comfortable. Harry seems like he just blends in so seamlessly beside his family and that's yet another thing that's making his heart swell. He can envision Harry here with him, every day, doing all of this. He can envision ten years from now when they're still here, alone, together and living the best life they possibly can.

He can envision their own kids filling the space around them, creating the same havoc.

They're all wonderful thoughts, and he grabs Harry's hands and kisses his knuckle right where their bonding ring is, before they go upstairs together.

They lay down beside one another in Louis' bed, their fingers still intertwined. "How many kids do you want?" Harry asks, breaking the silence.

"A lot, I think. I've always loved my big family. Would love to have my own, too." He rubs his thumb in circles on the side of Harry's hand. "How many do you want?"

"At least three, I think. I didn't come from a big family but I still want one." Harry's eyes are closed when he speaks, like he's always done when he's tired but not quite ready to sleep. These are when they always seem to have the best conversations about their futures, about their hopes and dreams, without filter. They can say anything now without worrying about what they say, almost as if the night shields them from any consequence.

"Do you really want all of this with me?" Louis asks before long, rolling on his side to face his omega. "Do you really want to take all of this when you bond me? Have all of this as your own, too?"

"There's not a single thing in the world I would ever want more," Harry says, and Louis is at peace.

"I'm ready whenever you are, my love. Whenever you want me to bond you, I'm yours. Always yours."

Harry finally opens his eyes, giving him a sleepy smile. There are crinkles beside his eyes when he smiles when he's tired, and the dimples come out in full force on his face.

"Very soon."

Louis can't wait.

 

+

 

Perhaps the only sight he could see more often than Harry's smile is his body.

Harry's laying out on his bed, naked, with his arms tucked behind his head and his eyes closed. He looks so peaceful like that, as beams of sunlight shine onto his body in streams, making him look even more angelic. Louis almost feels like he's intruding, like he shouldn't be there in that moment, but he can't bring himself to look away, can't bring himself to want to see anything other than a naked Harry laid out in front of him.

Harry opens his eyes, then, and he smiles.

"Hey, Lou."

"Hey," Louis says, his voice slightly higher than normal.

"My heat is coming up. It's hot." And. Right. Louis had almost completely forgotten about that, but even just the thought of it has his mind shifting, already imagining exactly what Harry is going to be like in heat.

Even just the thought is a vision.

"Want you to make love to me, now. Before you fuck me for three days straight." Harry laughs just a little as he says it, but Louis is already kicking his shoes off before the sentence is finished.

  
  


He's slow opening Harry up.

He's got his own bonding ring on his finger, and there's something so magical about watching it disappear inside of Harry each time he buries a finger inside of him. Harry's got his mouth open, letting out little, whiney pants each time Louis purposely avoids his prostate. He wants this to last, wants to keep Harry as close to him as he possibly can. He's already wet, dripping against the sheets below him and Louis swears he could look at him like this forever.

"Louis, stop teasing me - please."

He doesn't keep teasing him after that. This night is supposed to be entirely about Harry and he's not going to take away what he wants so much on his night. Harry looks at him with a bright smile as Louis leans down and kisses him then, three times on his lips and once on his nose. There's nothing better than their small intimate moments, than the moments where things between them don't need to be as heavy as people would expect them to be. When Louis can kiss his nose soft and sweet instead of making out with him.

"You're sure, then?"

"Of course, Lou. Want everything with you." That's the only affirmation Louis needs. They intertwine their fingers together with their left hands, and Louis kisses him once again.

He opens Harry with three fingers before he's sliding a condom over himself and pressing inside of Harry all in a quick motion.

Harry is completely still as he inches his way inside of him. Harry's mouth is open and his eyes are shut and he's beautiful. Once their hips are pressed completely together and Harry relaxes, he takes that as his cue to move.

Harry's moans are beautiful, loud and high pitched.

The bed rocks beneath them and Louis kisses him quiet.

He's already so close just from the scent of Harry aroused beneath him, and the feeling of him around him. It's the best feeling he's ever had and he's almost overwhelmed with it. He gets a hand around Harry's cock between them and jerks him slowly, knowing he's going to knot before Harry comes if he doesn't.

It's not long before Harry's clenching around him, his back arching just slightly as he comes, and Louis' knot finally pops. It's only into the condom, but the feeling of being tied together, of being so close in a way they never had before is almost life changing.

"Bond me," Harry says once he's nearly come down from his high. His dick still twitches each time Louis so much as moves, but he's coherent now.

"Are you sure?"

"I don't think there's anything I've ever been more sure about."

And that's all it takes. Even with Louis' knot buried deep inside of Harry, there's nothing that can compare to the feeling of finally sinking his teeth into that spot of his neck that's been desperate for his bite for months. There aren't enough words in his brain - in any language - to describe the closeness, the feeling of wholeness that comes the second he bonds Harry. It's so sudden, the way he can feel Harry so much deeper, can feel everything so much more clearly.

Harry goes limp with it, his head lolled back against the pillow behind him with his eyes half hooded. He knew this would happen, had read about it happening, but seeing it below him like this, he doesn't ever want this moment to end.

Then there's the moment of clarity where he remembers that he gets to have Harry with him forever. He gets to call Harry his for the rest of his life and there's not a single thing that could ever tear them apart, now. They're officially inseparable - more so than they had been before - and it's overwhelming. His heart feels so full with the love he holds for the omega below him - his omega - that he can't handle it.

His knot goes down just a moment later and he's getting a flannel to clean Harry up right after.

He's a bit more back to consciousness as he does, smiling and mumbling that he loves him over and over again, and Louis feels complete.

 

They change their bedsheets together less than an hour later, and then they crawl into bed for the first time as mates. The first night to the rest of their lives.

 

+

"Come live with me," Harry says in passing the next day. "Not forever if you don't want to live here forever. Just for a while if you want. But stay here with me. At least while you have your bond leave." Louis smiles at the thought of it. He'd already considered it - already thought about how he and Harry would be able to spend their time alone together, but he hadn't ever thought that Harry would ask.

It's not entirely normal for the alpha to move in with the omega, but it's certainly not normal for the alpha's house to be filled to the brim with his family, either. So. He agrees. He doesn't think there's another option that could ever make him any happier, anyway.

"Okay. I will."

Harry smiles again, the same beautiful bright smile he doesn't think he'll ever get enough of.

 

So that's how they find themselves in Louis' childhood bedroom once again the following day. They're packing up just boxes of his clothes, not the entire room, but it still feels like he's finally beginning his life with Harry.

"Louis, you can't just - you can't just throw things into boxes randomly. You're going to drive yourself mad with having to go through them when we get back to my house."

"What?" That just makes Harry laugh as he starts folding up his clothes and sorts them into what they're for - work, fun, sleep - and puts them into separate boxes.

Louis sometimes isn't entirely sure he would survive if there wasn't an omega helping him. Sometimes he's not sure how alphas survive without omegas at all. It doesn't seem possible, when they always seem to know all of the things that make a house a home and how to do things that he wouldn't have even thought about.

So, once they've packed up - mostly with Harry's solid planning and organization skills - they're laying on his bed once again with their hands intertwined, a record spinning from the side of the corner.

"I don't think I ever said thank you," Harry says, turning to face Louis with a smile on his face.

"For what, love?"

"Everything. All of this. Making me happy in the way you have." That takes Louis aback for a moment, just taking the words in as he looks at the beautiful omega beside him that he knows he gets to call his for the rest of his life, for the rest of their lives that they're going to build together. It's something he never thought he would get thanked for - never expected it - but the way Harry says it sounds so raw, sounds so honest and truthful. "I never..." Harry pauses for a moment. "There was a while that I thought I would never find anyone I really, honestly loved as deeply as I love you. I thought that I would have to settle if I ever wanted to mate, worried that there would never be anyone out there that I felt completed me the way you do. But you do. You make me feel like everything is worth it. So. Thank you."

"You never have to thank me, Harry. You've done the same and more for me. I love you so much." He presses a kiss against Harry's lips as he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "Do you want to go home now?" 

"Yeah. Let's go."

 

Louis cooks Harry dinner that night, just something simple, but when Harry comes home from the shops to see that it's already done, he seems happy. That's all Louis wants. He could spend the rest of his life doing everything just for the sole purpose of making Harry happy. "You made dinner?"

"Nothing special. Just some spaghetti, ‘cause well, I still can't cook very well."

"I'm sure it's wonderful," Harry says and kisses him. "I ran into one of my kids from last year at the shop. She was with her mum and said hello to me. It always makes me happy when kids are pleased to see me once they're not my students anymore, makes me feel like I've actually made an impact on their lives."

"Of course you have, love. You're probably the best third year teacher anyone could ever ask for. Don't think it gets any better than that."

"When do you want to have kids? Have you thought about that?"

"Well, I know it has to wait a while, just because I still have my sisters to take care of. But honestly, once they're alright, able to be okay on their own, I would love to have kids. Can't wait to have a little footie team of our own."

"A footie team, huh? What happened to three or four?" Harry's smiling as he says it, the dimple on his face popping out again.

"Who said three or four isn't enough for a footie team?"

"I guess you're right."

They spend the rest of the day in bed together, and Louis is happier than he's ever been.

 

It's Wednesday night when Zayn and Niall corner Louis at the hospital at the end of his shift.

"We haven't seen you in months, mate. I know we all have lives but this is just unlike you," Zayn says and Louis frowns. There's blood on his scrub pants today, and his hair is an absolute mess, and his friends have chosen this moment to come and visit him.

"We don't even know what's on in your life anymore." Niall says, and he looks sad.

Louis can't help the guilt that builds inside of him when he realizes exactly how much he's managed to neglect his friends since he's gotten serious with Harry. He hadn't forgotten about them, not at all, but rather things just got a little more difficult when he was managing such a busy schedule, his family, and Harry.

"We should have another Thursday dinner. Tomorrow, maybe? I have a lot to catch you lot up on, it's been a crazy few months," He says, giving a smile.

"Yeah!" Niall says, at the same time Zayn says, "Awesome."

So.

That's how he winds up back at his house at six on the dot, a chicken prepared for the lot of them and three wine bottles on the table. He'd invited Harry, but he'd said something about not wanting to intrude on his night with his friends, so Louis didn't push it.

But it's nice to be back at the table, surrounded by his friends, and for the first time he doesn't feel like he's been left behind.

Zayn has Liam at his side, Niall still has Barbara, and he knows he gets to go home to Harry at the end of the night and everything will be fine. He'd always known somewhere deep inside of him that everything would be fine, that it would all work out for the best one way or another, but now it feels so much more permanent, like he has proof of all the things that everyone had been telling him for so long would turn out.

"So, how's Harry?"

"We're bonded now," he says, dropping the heaviest of the bombs right away. Everyone is quiet for a moment, before questions erupt all around him. His friends are more than excited for him, happy for him, all at the same time as angry that he hadn't told them before. He's missed his friends and it's a very fast realization that he's going to have to prioritize more time for them, set aside a few more of their usual Thursday nights to spend this time together. "We bonded about two weeks ago, yeah. He's incredible. I've been staying at his house so that we don't bother the girls too much." He pauses again. "What's new with all of you?"

"We had the baby," Niall says, smiling. "She's precious. Anna, is what we named her."

"And you didn't bring her?" Louis gasps, puts a hand over his heart like he's offended.

"It's been hard enough getting her away from my mum. I don't need to have to pry her away from you lot, too."

"And you two?" Louis asks, quirking an eyebrow in the direction of Zayn and Liam.

"Everything's good. Yeah. Happily mated and all that." Liam blushes.

They all move out to the living room after they've eaten, sipping glasses of wine as they chat for hours and hours, catching up on everything they've missed. Everything is good. Louis is more than happy with how his life has turned out.

  
  


"Hey, Louis!" Harry calls when his alpha walks in from the shops, carrying several of the paper bags in his arms. Louis’ never been the type to take two trips, always been too stubborn to have to go back and finish something he started.

"Hi, love, what's up?" He sets everything on the counter and Harry comes into the room, still dressed in his pajamas. He's got fluffy pink slippers on and his hair is up in a bun, finally having grown long enough to be held up in the tie. Harry helps him put the groceries away before he says anything.

"I just got off the phone with the current headmaster of the primary school." Louis raises his eyebrows, a sudden wave of concern spreading through his body. His first thought is that Harry is getting fired - something he knows would absolutely crush his omega. He can't think of a single thing that would cause him to lose his job, but it's still the first thing that comes to mind.

"Yeah?"

"He told me he's retiring this year, and that I'm one of his top candidates to take the new headmaster position."

It's quiet between them for a moment, before the news seems to set in all at once.

"Oh, my god. That's incredible Harry! That's so incredible, I'm so happy for you!" He hugs him tightly and Harry holds him back as they stand there for a long moment, still taking in the news.

"It's still just an offer. He has a few other people he's considering for it, and he mentioned that there has never been an omega as a headmaster, but he said he knows I'm a strong candidate no matter my status." 

"Absolutely. You love kids, you're incredible with them. He'd be stupid to chose anyone other than you."

"But I also... I wanted to run it by you? Like, I want to make sure you're alright with it, of course." Louis furrows his eyebrows again, looking at Harry with a small frown tugging the corners of his lips down.

"My love, you are your own person more than you are an omega. I would never tell you no to such an incredible opportunity. I would never tell you no to something you wanted to do at all. We made that clear when you asked me out, remember? We don't follow tradition. I love you and want you to be the best person you can be and I would never hold you back from doing that."

"Thank you."

"Never thank me."

 

+

 

The second he walks into the house from his shift, he's hit with a wall of Harry's scent.

Harry's heat scent.

It's heavier than normal, sweeter, and better than anything he ever could have imagined. It feels like Harry is everywhere, all around him, filling the entirety of the house and drawing him in. His cock is hard just from the scent of it, and he can hear Harry moaning from the back room as his feet seem to move towards him on their own.

As soon as he opens the door, he sees Harry.

He's on his knees, only half naked, with two fingers buried in his arse as he humps against the mattress. His shirt is still half on, only one of the arms taken off like he'd had to strip in such a hurry that he couldn't get it all off. His arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful, but his toes are curled and he's whining - moaning, practically writhing on the bed and Louis can't just stand and watch a moment longer. 

The scent is so much stronger in the room that it nearly makes Louis dizzy, his mind hyper focused only on Harry - HarryHarryHarry - as he makes his way to the bed and pulls his omega's fingers away from himself.

"Louis -" Harry moans, and he doesn't even hesitate as he leans in, licks a stripe right from Harry's taint over his hole. He's only been able to eat Harry out three times, but it's become his favorite thing to do - his favorite way to get Harry to absolutely lose himself in it.

It's even better when Harry is in heat.

He's grasping at the sheets, his toes curling as he whines out more and more. The sound of it is beautiful, hearing Harry begging for him. "Louis please - please. Want your knot, please." He's breathing heavily, still whining before Louis is pressing two fingers past his rim. It silences him just for a moment, as his body goes still.

All it takes after that is just a few rubs of his fingers against his prostate before he's coming all over the sheets below him.

"I love you," is all Harry says before he passes out, already asleep.

He's never spent a heat with an omega, but he already knows that he never wants to miss another one with Harry.

"I love you, too."

 

Once Harry's heat ends, Louis makes them both breakfast.

The three days of being entirely focused on Harry were wonderful. Three full days of being there for him, being with him, helping him in such an intimate way. It's all so much better than anything he ever could have imagined. He'd always thought that having an omega was going to be the same kind of love he's felt for casual relationships when he was in college, that he thought he had for crushes. But it's so much more - it's amplified in a way that he feels like Harry has his entire heart. He couldn't ever imagine leaving Harry, hurting him, doing anything that would ever make him sad.

He doesn't think his heart could stand it.

So, as he brings up two plates of scrambled eggs and toast to their room on a tray and greets his omega still in bed, he's more than happy.

"Still tired, love?" He asks, putting a pillow behind Harry's back as he sits up.

"Yeah. It should wear off by tomorrow." Louis smiles and kisses the side of his head before they both just start eating in peace.

Having three entire days off from work to spend with Harry and two more coming has left him feeling nice, rested, and relaxed. He loves his job and wouldn't trade it for anything, but the grueling hours of it that he's had to endure for the first year have only left his brain frazzled. Now that the first year is done, he can take more time off, can arrange his shifts in a way he's comfortable with, and can take the normal month off to spend with Harry after they've bonded.

He'd put the request in just that morning, and told Harry as soon as he got home that it was approved. After the entire year spent talking about Harry, everyone at the hospital was happy for him. Everyone was on his side, and he couldn't imagine anything turning out much better than this.

Even if he knows that their life together as just the two of them has to wait, he's still more than ready to take on every adventure that Harry is willing to take with him.

 

+

Harry finds his way to Thursday Dinner for the first time a few months later.

It’s not that Louis didn’t want him there - he did - but perhaps it was that fear of letting go that kept that sixth chair empty for so long. He’s sat at the head of the table chair, since Louis had taken the folding chair in his place. Their hands are intertwined beneath the table and as Louis leans over to place a kiss on his shoulder, everything feels like it’s right in its place.

Like home.

**Author's Note:**

> leave me a comment if you made it this far <3   
> I hope you all enjoyed it and check back after the reveal for the post to reblog on tumblr if you want!


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